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O/T favourite one liner.

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by WearsidePride, Jul 1, 2014.

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  1. WearsidePride

    WearsidePride Active Member

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    Agree with you totally absolute genius! A lot better than some of those so called stand ups today!
     
    #21
    WearsidePride, Jul 2, 2014
  2. BackO'TheNet

    BackO'TheNet Well-Known Member

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    It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane; "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

    "What are my choices?" the man asked.

    "Yes or no," she replied
     
    #22
    BackO'TheNet, Jul 2, 2014
  3. Shy Tall Knight

    Shy Tall Knight Member

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    Spike Milligan to an indifferent crowd: - 'A lone clap is better than a single Herp'.
    Or on asked what he puts his longevity to: - 'I don't want that bloody Harry Seacombe singing at my funeral'.
    And, of course, Prince Charles, 'The grovelling little bastard!'
     
    #23
    Shy Tall Knight, Jul 2, 2014
  4. ROBOJOHN

    ROBOJOHN Active Member

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    " I told you I was Ill" was What he wanted on his headstone, classic !!, didn't the local council kick up about it at the time?
     
    #24
    ROBOJOHN, Jul 3, 2014
  5. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Man in a swimming pool, no arms, no legs, he's called Bob.
     
    #25
    Commachio, Jul 3, 2014
  6. Shy Tall Knight

    Shy Tall Knight Member

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    Man with leaves on his head called Russell.
     
    #26
    Shy Tall Knight, Jul 3, 2014

  7. ROBOJOHN

    ROBOJOHN Active Member

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    or in paper trousers
     
    #27
    ROBOJOHN, Jul 3, 2014
  8. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    How long does it take a scouser to have a ****?

    9 months.
     
    #28
    Tel (they/them), Jul 3, 2014
  9. Rick O'Shea

    Rick O'Shea Well-Known Member

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    18 if its twins Terry.
     
    #29
    Rick O'Shea, Jul 3, 2014
  10. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: You climb like old people **** private pile!
     
    #30
    Commachio, Jul 3, 2014
  11. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    Man with a seagull on his head - Cliff
    Man with car on his head - Jack
    Man with a spade in his head - Doug
    Man with a sod on his head - Pete
     
    #31
    Deletion Requested1, Jul 3, 2014
  12. WearsidePride

    WearsidePride Active Member

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    Man with C**t written across his forehead mike Ashley
     
    #32
    WearsidePride, Jul 3, 2014
  13. Shy Tall Knight

    Shy Tall Knight Member

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    Man with a piece of bacon on his head - Hamed
    Man with 2 pieces of bacon on his head - Mohamed.

    Will I get struck down for this? Give a ****, I don't!
     
    #33
    Shy Tall Knight, Jul 3, 2014
  14. Home_and_Away

    Home_and_Away Well-Known Member

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    Man with 2 pieces of bacon on his head & a vibrator up his ar*e????
    Sheik Mohamed !!! <laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #34
    Home_and_Away, Jul 3, 2014
  15. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Pakistani Carpenter... Hamed Meshed.

    Should take the heat off you Knight!
     
    #35
    Tel (they/them), Jul 3, 2014
  16. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    <laugh> top notch.
     
    #36
    Commachio, Jul 3, 2014
  17. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

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    What's big and round and hates Pakis?








    THE WORLD!
     
    #37
    Deleted #, Jul 3, 2014
  18. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Bloke with a bit of wire stuck to his chin, Mike
    Spanish lass with one tooth, Hwaneater
    Lass with a slate on her head, roof
     
    #38
    rooch 3, Jul 3, 2014
  19. Rick O'Shea

    Rick O'Shea Well-Known Member

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    Flight attendant: excuse me, would you like some headphones?

    Passenger: why yes. And how did you know my name was phones?!
     
    #39
    Rick O'Shea, Jul 3, 2014
  20. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Irish lad with a pane of glass each side of his head Paddio doors
     
    #40
    rooch 3, Jul 3, 2014
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