That one fan who will always yell "MAN ON!!!" at the top of his lungs the second one of the home team players starts to run with the ball ...and then there's... That one fan who will always yell "GET RID OF IT!!!" at the top of his lungs whenever the ball lands at the feet of one of the home players within twenty feet of their penalty area.
Oh good, at least it may not have been one of my strange dreams, even if it might mean i actually listened to something that a-hole said
Every commentator who comes out with gems like, "The first goal will be pivotal," in a game where there frequently only is one goal. Ian Darke just came out with that one and deserves something really dire for saying it at the 60 minute mark. Give me back the Mexicans! "Referees are human, too." "Thanks for that.
Arsenal. Jose Mourinho. Those extra linesman with their stick things in European Cup games. Andy Townsend. Womens football (whats the point?) Supposedly big tough men falling to the ground like they have been hit by a train to try and get a free kick, and then playing on like nothing has happened. Players waving imaginary cards at the ref. Football on ITV. Transfer gossip.
The camera that ITV use for all games at White Hart Lane. They somehow set it at an angle with such a bad depth of field you have no idea what's going on at the far side of the pitch.
Players with girls' names - Miranda, Gabi & Mandi for starters. "Plenty up top", "going in hard" and "tight at the back" take on different conotations when girls' names are mentioned
Commentators describing heinous fouls by saying 'he was late' - as if the Laws specify a time window in which a tackle is legal. It's usually a euphemism for a dangerous lunge when the ball has long departed the scene. As usual Andy Townsend is a prime example of this idiotic usage.
Footballers who (mis-) use the word "obviously." Chav players, such as Fat Frank and John "iron my hood, bitch!" Terry are the worse offenders (now that Beckham has retired from the game). Example 1:- "Yeah, obviously we scored..." NO! It isn't obvious you scored! It's merely a fact that you scored. The fact that you score more goals than your opponents would make it obvious that you won the game, but it isn't obvious that you score the goals. Example 2:- "Yeah, obviously, I got the winner..." Wrong again, twat! It isn't obvious that you got the winner, otherwise you wouldn't be telling us that fact, nor would be have had to review the evidence. Look, don't get me wrong, please. I'm not expecting footballers to have a University education (like me), but I do demand that they possess at least a rudimentary grasp of grammar. I expect this sort of thing from Mouser footballers (Mickey Dim, Gerrard, and Carra, to mention but a very small few, all use the word "them" in place of "those" and seem almost to revel in being as thick as pig ****), but I do expect more from the Southern lads.
sports people that say, you know, after nearly evey word,like the guy that beat Nadal yesterday,you know
You've been standing next to me at WHL haven't you HBIC? You'll also hear me shout "ROAST HIM" once Lennon/ Townsend have got space to run at a defender
I hope you don't mean any of our own players who fall into that category? Rose Pauline Sandra Pamela Or those with female first names? Eunice (Kaboul) Louise (Holtby) Jan (Vertonghen) Christine (Eriksen) and both the Kylies..........
Years ago a Caribbean friend of mine used to say "you know" after every sentence. I asked him once why he did that. He said, "It's because I usually speak with people who are less intelligent than me, and I want to make sure they've understood what I've said........... You know?" [I somehow doubt if that's the reason why so many players do it!!!!!!!]
I guffawed so boisterously at this., my Dobermans ran for cover. Then I remembered a time years ago, when I was a child, my English teacher looked my way and said, "Name two pronouns." I said, "Who, me ?"
Gary Lineker's new opinion/summary videos on the bbc... Please Gary, stick to being the link man. Red tape surrounding our new stadium. Judas! Players who became good when they left Spurs - Boateng, Giovani, Kanoute. Players who became rubbish when they joined Spurs - Bentley, Gomes, Jenas, Postiga, Rebrov, Dempsey. Ledley's bad knee. Daniel Levy! Gazza's booze habit. Hoddle's managerial career. Paul Robinson's victimisation by England for one mistake, when he had conceded the fewest goals of any keeper in qualifying. Stupid timing of transfer windows. Sopcast not working properly.
> Our "supporters" who never have a good word to say about the club. Particularly when they use childish spellings of our players and/or manager to emphasise how much they don't like them. > WUMs.
