OT as board is slow, your pet hates

When I say pet hates I don't mean the obvious ones .... bad driving, bad parking etc as they are given. I mean things that annoy you but other people think you're the one with the problem.

Abbreviations wind me up. More so abbreviations that are actually more difficult then the word itself. For example "half a dozen" and at this time of year "SW19" is it not far easier to say 6 and Wimbledon??

 

butting in conversations .I keep telling me youngest. also when at work people who are loaded ,but want everything done for nowt. and they are the first to complain . hate greed.

ignorant people on holiday ..guess who lol

 

Skinny jeans and floppy fringes when showcased by poor foolish males who do not realise that looking back they'll appear just as daft as anyone sporting a mullet in an 80's photo.

 

Women who get pregnant just to get a seat on a crowded bus.

 

• Over sensitive beelers
• Politicians (all flavours)
• Lads who say 'word up blud' and all that ganster **** when they are as white as snow, called Trevor and live in a middle class area
• Lasses on facebook who take 'selfies' of themselves sucking their fat cheekbones in to look skinnier whilst holding a 'hardcore' bottle of 4% alcopops
• Stewards who think the bright jacket they wear is actually a black Hugo Boss SS number Circa 1939
• Smelly bastards who fart in a pub and innediately waft their hand around saying 'smell that' like it is some kind of medal of honour
• Bastards like TJPF who criticise stylish people dressed in bright Chino's without fully appreciating how fashoinable they really are nowadays
• People who finish your sentence off for you as they can't stop their ****ing jaw moving for just one flipping second
• Chavs who resemble a prepubescent, naked shaved monkey which has been methodically kicked around Sports Direct to get it kitted out in all the 'gear'
• Sports Direct mugs.... never wanted one... always seem to end up with one. They are like a venereal disease.... totally unwanted and hard to get rid of......

 

People who cough or sneeze at you without covering their mouth. It's just rude. And I don't enjoy sharing their pathogens.

Overly pouty selfies.

Too much fake tan. Oompa Loompas are not hot.

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It's an unfortunate fact of life that the fake tan and overly pouty selfies often combine to create a super powered irritant.

 

1. Bastards who constantly talk about dieting whilst shovelling 1000 calories of chocolate down their necks
2. Russians. Deviouis bastards who contribute nothing to the world.
3. Middle lane drivers who persist in drving on an empty motorway at 60 mph whillst ignoring the empty slow lane.
4. Boy racers who have utterly **** cars with fat boxes on the back, 'wayne and julie' stickers in the front and rev their engines to **** at me when waiting next to me at lights... just before I gently tap the gas and leave them for dead.
5. Speed Cameras.... and all the bullshit that goes with them about 'safety partnerships' etc.... just admit it you bastards... it's a cash generrative thing.
6. Middlesborough.. it really is totally vile and should be flattened
7. Road Works with no workers actively working on them..... pointless and a total hinderance to my long journey home each week
8. The phrase 'oooy oooooy!!!' which holidaying Brits seem to like to shout at each other like some piss poor attempt at communicating with each other in a pirate dialect

 

when you are in a que at the bar etc and someone sly fooka moves in to the front ..happens at the match quite often ..ignorance.

poor listeners aswell , got loads to say but wont listen and always have to be right ..my dad is this person ..hate it..

 

People with wooden legs and real feet.

 

People who only use a fork when they are eating and elbows on tables. Also people who can't say please or thank you,its not hard. Also kids who won't take their caps of in restaurants it really pees me off. Also why go out and spend time on mobile phone, talk to your friends and family for god's sake.

 

Leaf Blowers. Use a rake.

 

People who don't understand my knife phobia which also affects my balance when eating, hence me having to put my elbows on the table when using my fork.

 

Hand shaking. It's so common now it's ridiculous. After a game of pool in the pub for example why must we shake hands? Totally unnecessary. Also when people call members of their family "mate". Don't know why but makes me want to throttle them

 

When females call males mate, pal etc! it really grinds my gears!!! Not sexists but for some reason it does
when drives dont say thanks

 

I hate when men call women love,why I don't love them.

 

Banter, bants, anything described as cheeky- nandos, a pint etc. **** OFF

 

Absolutely. What the **** is a "cheeky pint"? Mongs

 

Modern haircuts, that 99.9% percent of 'lads' have.

'Lads'. Especially on a night out. Top button done up, blazered. I could think of nothing worse than going out and someone wearing the same thing as you, never mind every twat. Grab your small coinpurse of a scrotum and pull in one swift, hard yank until there are two bloody oddshaped pearls on the floor and you a have a hairy section of skin in your hand.

Jacamo adverts- 'the city is ours'- go shove your head down an unflushed toilet at any restaurant called the Taj Mahal.

 

Women who tell me to grow a pair. I've got a pair thanks, but maybe if you took your own advice, Mrs Completely-Flat-In-Front, someone might fancy you and you wouldn't have to take your self-loathing out on everyone else, lashing out as you do in dull-witted monotone like a passive-aggressive and utterly nil-tittied Zombie. Furthermore, perhaps the attainment of "a pair" might take the edge off the cruel shame that nature has not only left you so physically bereft that you encapsulate the idea of a transgender Frodo Baggins, but has severely unbalanced the force by additionally attaching to you the personality of Roy Keane's lower hanging testicle. I'm sure a smiling and engaging Freda Baggins, lumbering around the Shire picking daisies with enormous man-hands whilst loosening the old and grating "pair-induced" vocal chords to Rupert Hulme's "Escape", would see a substantial amount more hobbit-dick than you, and he/she doesn't have the tremendous advantage of having a hobbit dick on his/her person any longer.