Hypocrisy and Madness

A selection from "Said and Done" on the Guardian website:

Brazil: Ex-Flamengo keeper Bruno, 29 – serving 22 years for ordering the murder of model Eliza Samudio in 2010 to avoid paying child support, with Samudio's body fed to dogs – signing a five-year deal to join Campeonato Mineiro club Montes Claros. Club president Ville Mocellin says the deal, pending court approval as part of a day release "resocialisation" scheme, will involve Bruno "training and playing under police escort". "We want to give an opportunity to this man Bruno. He lost his head – but people make mistakes. He deserves this chance."

Ghana: Aduana Stars chief executive Albert Commey denying reports that coach Milisav Bogdanovic reacted to a training ground row by pulling a gun on one of his players. "The coach has a gun … but there was no gun-pulling." Commey says striker James Abban started it by "insulting the coach's mother… We will tackle this with no kid gloves."

• Fifa marking the conclusion of their sustainability training programmeto "improve awareness of sustainable management" among Brazil's stadium operators - two months after their £5.2m 90-minute World Cup draw in a £1.7m temporary tent.
• Plus a setback: Fifa executives told to end their bonus culture by its audit and compliance head, after £20.4m was paid to undisclosed "key management personnel" in 2012 – up 81% since 2008. (Sepp's view on executive pay, expressed in 2011: "I'm not ashamed … We're school kids as far as salaries are concerned.")



Bayern Munich CEO Uli Hoeness: jailed for £23.8m of personal tax evasion, a year after his call for a fair financial ethos in football – a demand for Uefa to "kill" wealthy clubs trying to take advantage, and praise for sanctions already taken against Málaga. "The Málaga owner did not pay his bills. He lived beyond his means."
•Also from the 2013 interview: reasons why operating on the fair side of finance feels so good. "At Bayern we have not been in debt for 32 years. We never have to go to the credit department of a bank. Being able to do that is something which lets you sleep very well at night."


Taking up the fair play cause: Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, unhappy with the rich flouting financial ethics – "we have to try to come back to a rational and a fair way" – four months after his €249,000 fine for failing to pay tax on two Rolexes received as gifts in Qatar.


Governing the football family last week – Central American confederation Concacaf, spelling out a new zero tolerance message for players who take bribes – a year after they reacted to the expiry of executive Horace Burrell's six-month ban for taking bribes by rehiring him, as head of finance, compliance and integrity.Concacaf's key message to the region's wrongdoing footballers: "They will think twice before interfering in the game we all love – or they will face the consequences."
Shakhtar Donetsk's Romanian coach Mircea Lucescu: assessing this month's prison sentences for eight top football figures in his homeland over money laundering and fraud. "The punishments were way too much. It's because the case was judged by women who have no idea about football."

 

Yer man from Dixon of Dock Green is in a spot of bother as well.

 

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He's as pure as the driven snow.

 

in the usa you can be arrested and charged with mayhem

 

Ahem?

 

chaos is another good one to be charged with

 

Dev sticking up for the bent copper

 

FACT.

 

In Australia, I believe an assault charge is called "bashing"

 

What if the victim were a bishop?

 

That bloke in Neighbours?

 

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In Ireland an assault victim is called "moi wife"

 

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Harold?

 

Henderson?

 

You must be easily amused.

 

Big Foot and The...?

 

....Missing, presumed raped campers.