So what is the issue with Cisse?

Was he a half season wonder?... and is he really that bad?
Or is he a superstar striker who's been out for form for quite a bit of time?

I'm genuinely at a loss here..

 

or has his head been turned for all the wong(a) reasons

 

Bottom line we have a player payed to score goals.
If a bus driver was told to drive a bus... yet couldn't get it out of first gear... would his bosses be happy?
Appreciate it is a team game but come on.. whatever the formation the lad couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo.

 

Lucky first six months.
They say form is temporary class is permanent and that says it all

 

I thought he looked lively first half and was unlucky not to have a goal, but that miss in the second half was shocking. It's not often he's been played through one on one in the last twelve months which is why I've remained undecided but he telegraphed what he was going to.

I think he'll come good, just not with us unfortunately.

 

I'm glad you asked this question ACS, I have several plausible potential reasons.

1. The Cisse we knew and loved was found in the Ocean by a fisherman... When the fisherman got him out the water, they found several bullet holes and a metal laser pointer displaying a swiss bank account number. Curious. He knew nothing of his former self, but when sleeping on a park bench in Zurich, he was accosted by some teenagers playing futsol, whose ball bobbled off the toe of a messi-wannabe and hit Papiss on the head. They asked him his name, he knew not, but next thing he knew he was dancing with the ball in ways that the ball has never been danced with before. I'm talking Fred Astaire ****. He's doing keepy-uppies and one handed handstands while maintaining the balls movement with his farts... Unfortunately, he has been on the run from Fifa ever since. Our replacement, sent by Blatter personally to make sure that Cisse is quieted, is the typically useless extra who shoots wildly at the target and is never going to hit it.

2. Papiss Cisse bought a zoo, and is now running it with his annoying little daughter. The chap we have is actually a penguin.

3. Papiss Cisse's gone to see about a girl. The guy playing for us is Ben Affleck.

4. Papiss is in world war 2, and the only way to save him is to send a search party through nazi occupied territory...

 

I think that number 1.. the Cisse Identity option is the most plausible.

 

There is more chance of them finding the plane then him finding the net on a regular bases

 

Maybe the real Cisse was on that plane?

 

Maybe poyet is driving it

 

I don't think it was a lucky half season. I also don't believe he'll rediscover his mojo here. He needs to move, for both parties.

 

he probably hates pulling on the shirt tbh. being forced to go against religious beliefs. and wonga did become sponsor around the same time is form slumped.

.. just speculation ofcourse and no evidence. but how does someone go from 13 goals in 11 games or whatever, to not scoring...

also luuk de jong needs to start ramping his game up asap.

 

Hell, my form and enthusiasm dipped when WONGA became our sponsors, I said at the time I wouldn't wear a top with WONGA on it and I still feel the same way about it. Got loads of tops and wear them with pride, but there's no pride in wearing a top with WONGA on.

 

Wonder what wages we are paying Shola, Cisse, DeJong and Remy only Remy paying any dividends and he isnot ours.

Get rid of the lot in close season and start again.

 

If he wants to use WONGA as his reason for not being able to hit a cows arse with a banjo, I'd lose all respect for him. Once he makes the decision to continue regardless of the sponsor, those excuses go out the window. I doubt very much he'd go down that road. Its just all gone wrong for him here and the harder he tries the worse it gets. I actually feel sorry for him now.

 

I don't mind De Jong as Shola's replacement. My only concern is his shooting. Its really really piss weak. He literally looks like he struggles to kick it with any sort of velocity I'm sure it can't be the case and his timing is just off becaus eyou couldn't get to international level with Holland with this kind of issue. His link up play is excellent and he works really well with Remy. We have an undoubted over reliance on Remy though who probably won't be here next season. Major concern. It is not unfeasible to see all 4 depart as you say. We might be starting from scratch which is pretty scary as strikers cost the most money, and Mike doesn't like releasing money! I can see a situ where we sign 2 and rely on Armstrong and Campbell.

 

Campbell makes me smile surely he is too small for a premier league striker?

 

He is if we lose confidence because we tend to resort to hoof ball. All about the way you play. Jermaine Defoe and Kevin Phillips were very similar in height. He needs a little more stockiness to his build but height is not an issue.

 

Why do people keep using the wonga shirt as an excuse.
He was awful way before then

 

Don't forget as well.. he was pictured GAMBLING in Aspers too which kinda weakened the whole argument for him.