The Premier League's Worst Ever Players?

'The Premier League's Worst Ever Players' is free to download on kindle at the moment. There is a chapter which destroys Sunderland for their (at the time) record points lows in 2003 and 2006. Titus, Jon Dahl, Micky O and Marcelino get a bit of a roasting too...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Premier-Lea...?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1394051366&sr=1-1

Book description :

Did Francis Jeffers ever keep you awake at night? Did you slap yourself in the face each time you witnessed an Eric Djemba-Djemba attack-splitting pass? Did Titus Bramble cause you to eat your match programme in frustration? Then this is the book you've been waiting for.

Relive all your least favourite Premier League moments by taking a journey back through the maze of frustration, disillusionment and failure that is the Premier League’s worst ever players. Grimace, wince and sob as you take a trip down the derelict end of memory lane, through a history of the Premier League’s most inept, incompetent, overpaid and under-talented exponents of the beautiful game. Players who looked terrified whenever the ball came within twenty yards of them, players who would struggle to make the bench for their son’s under-7’s team and players who surprised you by managing to make it onto the field wearing the correct strip.

If you’ve ever watched a Premier League player and wondered how they managed to turn professional and you didn’t, if you were left speechless as they were allowed to continue spreading their misery well into the second half, if they rang Graeme Souness pretending to be George Weah’s cousin or if they left you dumbfounded at the fact they’d managed to convince someone to pay them a wage to represent your hopes and dreams, you’ll find them all here.

 

Boum?

 

All I want to know is doe Fumaca feature? If not then its a silly book. You can't run through worst players and then not have the worst.

 

No, Ali Dia's the worst. Then again, he wasn't actually a footballer, so maybe Fumaca does win!

 

To be fair describing Fumaca as a footballer is not on. Trust us to sign the only Brazilian who didn't know what football was.

Milton Nunez was a goodun for the Mackems. Duped into signing a Uruguayan 3rd Division player. At least they got some of their money back via a court case.

We got none of our soul back for having to watch Fumaca.

Not PL but at this point I must mention Mark Stimson. I know I mention it everytime, but he was f**king awful. It was like a very sick form of torture watching him.

 

Ahh Milton Nunez. At least his name sounds plausible for a decent player.

 

Nunez was 'paraded' to the crowd when he signed wearing a S*nderland shirt that was four times to big for him - he then started shadow boxing and skipping about.

I was reminded of it when Obafemi Martins was 'paraded' at St. James' when he did a turn about the centre circle in a suit and tie, hobbling around like he had two snapped hamstrings.

The worst Premier League player for me has to be Brett Angell. He wasn't even a league footballer.

 

Ali Dai... Weah's cousin apparently... Another Souness f up.

 

Boumsong has to come close. Here's a little piece about him.

We’ve all done it at some point or other; you’re watching a game, witnessed a player make an elementary mistake and shouted ‘I could do better than that’. One man who has been the victim of this more than most is Panathinaikos defender Jean-Alain Boumsong, whose reputation for calamity precedes him among English fans.

It all started so well for the Frenchman at Le Havre and Auxerre, earning his reputation as an intelligent defender. He decided to run down his contract with the latter under the Bosman ruling and became one of the most sought-after free transfers on the continent.

After much deliberation, Boumsong made the slightly obtuse decision to join Rangers. He only made 18 league appearances at Ibrox, before Newcastle boss Graeme Souness shelled out £8m on a man who had done well in Scotland without setting the league alight.

The Frenchman wasn’t aided at St James’ Park by the fact he had to slot in alongside Titus Bramble and occasionally Peter Ramage, which could damage the reputations of some of the world’s best.

Boumsong took to the task of ruining his reputation with great gusto, putting in some comical performances in black and white. The lowlight was a home game against Manchester United, where he was at fault for three goals. His positioning was, frankly, atrocious and he made enough individual errors to make a Department of Transport employee look competent.

 

Yeah, Monkeyheed mistook tiny Honduran Nunez for tall, powerfully built Colombian Adolfo Valencia. Easy mistake to make - VHS was dodgy at the best of times.

We've signed some donkeys over the years mind. Cacrapa was hilariously bad. Up there with Ron Geremi, Cordone, Andersson, Gui'varch, Hamilton, Charvet, Dumas and Maric.

 

I hope you wash your mouth out with soap after mentioning some of those names.

 

Once you've written Cacrapa, there's no going back. Does anyone remember that match when he was shifted off after about 20 minutes?! Puts Boumsong's Man U efforts to shame. Portsmouth, I think - at least Boumsong was up against talent.

 

We've trawled the depths at times.

 

Marcellino and Luque worth a mention.

 

Albert Luque wrapped it up.

 

Never seen a player try less on a football field than Albert Luque. Was at Villa away a few years ago (think it was Oba Martins' debut) and he literally strolled around the pitch not giving a **** all game long. I will smack the **** in the face if I ever meet him. Utter disgrace.

 

Going off topic, but read this week that when Laurent Charvet was released by Man City his pay off was a cool £600,000.

Not bad for a donkey.

 

Geremi was the only player I've ever seen limp onto the pitch

 

Goodness know's we've had plenty of those.

 

I do remember Dumas having the odd decent game (Arsenal away 0-0 unless I'm making that up...) which is more than I can say for most of them. Plus wasn't he free?

I could just google all this but really can't be arsed.