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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    A friend of mine is a Gyneacologist, and has just hit retirement age. He said he is going to just work one day a month from now on as he likes to keep his hand in.

    As he had some time on his hands he decorated his hall...through the letter box!
     
    #41
  2. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    The same Gyneacologist friend said as he is doing less hours he is going to join Facebook and Friends Reunited because he wants to look up some old girlfriends
     
    #42
  3. Christ's Chin

    Christ's Chin New Member

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    Did any of you know that Danny Welbeck's dad is a bomb disposal expert? He's called Stan.
     
    #43
    Noblelox likes this.
  4. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    FFS <laugh>
     
    #44
  5. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Giving Juan Mata to David Moyes is the same as giving an i-phone to your gran.
     
    #45
  6. What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe...?




    Roberto!
     
    #46
  7. cally800

    cally800 Member

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    The same gynaecologist was giving a lesbian a check up and casually mentioned how clean she was - she replied
    " I should be, I have a woman come 3 times a week!"
     
    #47
  8. Christ's Chin

    Christ's Chin New Member

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    How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan.
     
    #48
  9. Redbrynner

    Redbrynner Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a man with no shins?

    Tony
     
    #49
  10. Redbrynner

    Redbrynner Well-Known Member

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    A guy just stopped me in the street and said i reminded him of Stevie Wonder.

    I told him i couldnt see it
     
    #50

  11. Christ's Chin

    Christ's Chin New Member

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    I bought a lovely watercolour painting by some guy called Claude for a mere 75p the other day - it was great value for Monet!
     
    #51
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  12. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    "Toure, if I forgive you a red card for your foul what would you say"?(Ref: Phil Dowd ) <ok>
     
    #52
  13. Surely it doesn't Mata :bandit:
     
    #53
  14. viceverse

    viceverse Member

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    Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
     
    #54
  15. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    Some people insist saliva is the best lubricant for anal sex. It isn't ... Blood is!
     
    #55
  16. I see you are being converted to the Notts ways <whistle>
     
    #56
  17. viceverse

    viceverse Member

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    You&#65279; know where Rooney got the hair from? Off his wifes pussy. Doctor said it would be easier to transfer it from one **** to another
     
    #57
  18. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Never heard that one before.
     
    #58
  19. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    Q: What does the 'B' stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot?
    A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

    please log in to view this image

    please log in to view this image
     
    #59
  20. LuisDiazgamechanger

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    Dead man walking...<laugh>
     
    #60

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