Chelsea bus requests transfer

CHELSEA’S team bus has demanded a transfer after being left out of the team facing Manchester City.

Most experts expected the luxury 55-seater to start Sunday’s top of the table clash at the Etihad Stadium, having proved central to Chelsea’s matches against Arsenal, Manchester United, and Bayern Munich.

But Chelsea boss José Mourinho sprung a surprise by fielding a team of eleven relatively small but agile humans, leaving the bus “distraught” and considering its future.

The bus’s agent said: “It has always done everything asked of it, from parallel parking on a wet Tuesday night in Hull, to blocking the goalmouth like a vast force field of gears, metal and wipe-down leather seats.

“Parked buses have been the basic ingredient of every Mourinho team, and for him to leave it in the car park for the full ninety minutes is an appalling insult to a faithful servant.”

Dismayed Chelsea fan Tom Logan said: “If our team isn’t going to base its tactics and identity on the fundamental immobility of a ten-tonne vehicle, then I just don’t know what the world’s coming to.”

“Next thing one of our strikers will score an actual goal in an actual game of football.”

The bus is expected to seek a move to Stoke City, where for once it won’t be the largest, least mobile thing on the pitch.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/chelsea-bus-requests-transfer-2014020683343

 

I heard the first rumblings he wanted out after not being used against Liverpool. He was deeply upset the team won so very easily with out him.

 

Maybe we should make it captain and offer it half a million pound a week to stay?
Worked for Rooney right?

 

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One thing for sure we won't be burning his shirt when he leaves

 

* Monday's clash between 2nd and 3rd (these journos know nothing)

Personally I think its a ploy by its agent to get it a bigger contract. It will be a real shame to see it go after being such a loyal servant and with its fantastic performances this season. I fully accept that it wants more game time though. Like Juan Mata, it wants to make the World Cup and Greece will not select it if it isn't match fit and in form.

 

I think he was loaned out to Fulham on Sunday

 

It'll be a shame for it to go after its man of the match performances in our Champions League run

 

I thought Fulham must have signed a few vampires with all those crosses you were making them have to deal with.

 

BBC reporting City are after Chelsea bus, will offer the 43 mill buy out clause.

 

We need to get it back from Arsenal