Please note, I'm selling my dogging equipment on e bay, I have no bids as yet but 24 people are watching
Liverpool raving about SAS,Sturridge+Saurez. Man U still to come up with a name for Wellbeck, Anderson, Nani, Kagawa, Evra, Rooney+Smalling
My missus was applying some suncream. "Do you mind doing my back?" she asked. "Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes." "Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?" And that was all the invitation I needed.
englishman, irishman and scotsman expats chatting in a foreign pub about who's local boozer was the best back home.. englishman says, "got to be mine, every friday the landlord buys everyone a drink on the house".. scotsman says "aye laddie, but in ma town, the wee landlord buys everyone a pint and a finest single malt too both saturday and sunday".. Paddy pipes up, "Back in Limerick, dey not only buy you free drinks all night on fridays but when you're senseless, they take you upstairs to bed and give ya a good time n all.." "are you serious?" ask the others "Ah dunno but that's what ma sister told me.."
Me and me fat Mrs was talking about the old days at school etc, she said " I bet you cant remember what my favourite instrument at school was" ****in easy I said "the dinner bell"
I said I know why your fat, its because you,ve got a problem with yer feet. "Really" she said "whats up with them" I said you cant keep the ****ers out of kebab shops.
A whiteshite fan lived next door to a Hull City fan in Hull, one of the City fans chickens had got out his garden and laid an egg in whiteshites garden. "Oy whiteshite give us me egg back what me chickens just laid in your garden" whiteshite "Nah mate, its in my garden so its my egg" City fan "Nah mate its my chicken so its my ****in egg" City fan "There,s only one way to sort this and thats the Hull way" Whiteshite "What ways that then" City fan "I,ll boot you in your bollox, then you boot me in my bollox and the first one who screams loses the egg" City fan goes first and gives the whiteshite such a crack in his goolies, the whiteshite is in agony, his eyes are smarting the pains that severe he even ****s hiself but he dosent scream. "Jeeez that hurt he thinks to hiself". Whiteshite "Right its my turn to boot your bollox now" City fan "Yer can keep the ****in egg"
Tottenham sacking AVB. Joke of the week. Closely followed By Tan Man and Malky @ Cardiff with England Ashes form in Oz.
Joke of the week - yannicksagbo AKA tubby spastic, for being in the delusion that Samaras is 100% coming here and that he is better than Aluko based solely on FIFA. oh, and because this is his sixth or seventh account on here, and every one has been for wumming.
