If this doesnât make you laughâ¦.you are having a really bad day!!! A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ****.
I'll tell you a joke. An American tourist arrives in Dublin Airport and when he gets off the plane,He meets this scruffy looking fella standing behind a table with strange looking objects on it. He goes over to the man and says what are those? The scruffy looking fella says in a strange accent says skulls. The american says what? The scruffy lad says skulls. The American says oh skulls. The American says well what have you got here. The scruffy lad says I've got the skull of Michael Collins,St Patrick and James Connolly. The american says Is that really the skull of St Patrick. The scruffy lad says yes. The American says how much do you want for it. The scruffy lad says €500. The American says how much is that in Dollars. The Scruffy lad says $1000. Well anyway the American go es back to the USA and displays this skull in his pub and then after five years he decides to visit Ireland,and he again gets off the plane to meet the same scruffy fella standing by a table with strange objects on it.He still has that strange accent. The American says what have you got there. The scruffy lad says skulls. The American says what. The scruffy lad says skulls. The American goes oh skulls. The American says who have you got here then. The Scruffy lad says I''ve got the skull of Michael Collins,the skull of St Patrick and the skull of James Connolly. The American says..The skull of St Patrick?I was over here five years ago and I bought the skull of St Patrick from you. The scruffy lad says I know,but this is the skull of St Patrick when he was a little boy.
