Liverpool Launch Audacious Southampton Bid

From the Daily Mail -

Liverpool Launch Audacious Southampton Bid - Peter Blag - Chief Football Correspondent

Strong rumours have begun to surface from the boardroom at Anfield that the club is about to launch an audacious attempt to bid for Southampton FC. Clearly irritated by the 'little club's' front at trying to improve, the Premier League stalwarts have decided to wreak their revenge by buying Southampton, including the much vaunted Marchwood Academy.

Southampton's start to the season has been such that the permanently installed "Big 4" of Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester City, have become most upset at the upstarts policies of playing attractive football, superior fitness levels, excellent coaching and a drive to produce effective youngsters. Rather than seeing the delicate balance unsettled, after conferring with other "Big Clubs", Liverpool are looking to take a firmer line by bidding £7.5m to buy the club wholesale. Although unlikely to move the whole city of Liverpool to Southampton, the Daily Mail understands that this drastic move is not being wholly discounted at this stage.

A source from Anfield commented "Southampton are a little club, so will be enormously grateful to receive a bid of this size to buy the club. In fact we are hoping that their chairman will take our interest as a compliment and that they'll then go back from whence they came."

Although officials at St Mary's were unavailable for comment, a source close to one of the players grandmother's stated "All of the players at Southampton are desperate to advance their careers by sitting on the bench of a big club. They've seen the development of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Theo Walcott and realised that nothing improves a footballer more than inaction whilst being paid an exorbitant salary."

 

Wonderful Stuff !

 

One mistake - it was the Daily Mirror who published the story.

 

I think they're all interchangeable. I wouldn't want to be accused of newsism.

 

Superb.

 

Arsene Wenger has made a counterbid to take all our academy lads as a job lot.

 

An absolute gem! LoL

 

This is one of the best threads I have ever seen on the board. Thanks, rep, and likes coming your way LTL.

 

Oh man there goes me coffee again all over me laptop...... nice one!!!

 

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A source from Anfield commented "Southampton are a little club (NOT ANY MORE) and Liverpool will not be in top 6 at end of the season