No they are. I love waving them about in full knowledge it gets on peoples tits. I realise that if it came down to 'having a row' with a moaning **** ( like Agron ) they'd get in the way of administering a right hander but it's a risk I'm willing to take. If push came to shove I'd just deploy a swift nut whilst still waving my big, foam hands about.
Ah right I get it. What you are is a 'plastic' fan that intentionally annoys the 'real' fans yeah? And you use the foam hands as a defensive shield just so you don't get hurt? It's a good plan - I think I might have to adopt it.
Mine aren't even Hull City foam hands either. I bought them from a charity shop in Hessle Square. One's a WWE affair in blue and the other is a Hull Stingrays one in yellow and they're different sizes. I'll keep an eye out for a pair for you and I'll keep you posted.
Actually mate I think I need some that say 'Leeds General Infirmary' on them please. That was after all the exact place I exited my mother's womb and thereby the only possible team I can support without being labelled a plastic. I'll have some Cheerleader pom poms if you can find them too. I'm just a bit scared they might make me look a bit gay? Is that acceptable?
Oddly enough I've been seriously contemplating swapping my foamers for some spangly pom poms. **** it, it's game on for Saturday. Like I said last week, we've all git a bit if gayness in us so I think it's more than acceptable. I really do.
Forget that I've just had a better idea. You know in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 'Harry the Hatchet' proceeded to beat someone to death with a 16 inch black rubber cock? We could all wave those around but make them black and amber striped 16 inch rubber cocks? What do you think?
I've noticed the tosspots who complain about foam hands are also the ones who think burning smoke flares at matches are a great idea.
I've noticed the tosspots who complain about burning smoke flares are also the ones who think foam hands at matches are a great idea.
Have you gone mad? I said we have a bit of gayness in us but 16" black and amber cocks? My sainted aunt, it's too much. Mind you if we deployed ten thousand rampant rabbits in high speed mode every time we scored it wouldn't half make some noise. I'll look into it.
Do you honestly think that might be a bit too extreme? Really? OK I think what we need to do is bring 24,000 flares to the next match and let them off in the face of any kid, (or adult) who happens to have a foam hand. That'd make us 'ard real fans! Mind you, 24,000 flares - it'd be like playing in fog. Last time we did that we beat Southampton 5-0. So could be a win-win all round. No foam hands and a trouncing victory!
I might see if my mate who works in Afghanistan get get hold of a few shamooli's for me and I'll set them off during a night game. Anyone who has been in the daft and barmy will know what they are. They're the mother****ing Daddy of flares and it would make me the Daddy of the KC Stadium if I could fire a couple of those bastards into the night sky, or better still the away end. They even have their own parachute.
Do you know that's as extreme right-wing as me suggesting 16-inch black and amber striped rubber cocks for everyone, (or is that extreme left wing - I can never tell). Maybe we should just bring in some of those cap guns we all had as kids. That way we could just create a tiny little popping sound and generate tiny amounts of smoke without upsetting the foam-handed kiddies. But of course there is the option of firing the guns in the kids' ears should their foam hands ever get in the way.
then sleep peacefully tonight, in the knowledge that Hull City will not have any plastic following due to your lack of achievements you ****in egg. Remember its just a game of football and not a ****ing way of life sad ****!
