Commemorative Hypothetical Nonsense Thread - The High Addition

To celebrate the fact we are now, quite literally, on a roll, I thought I'd make a typically silly thread to extend the wave of euphoria til the inevitable bipolar low, or MOTD comes on, whichever comes first...

So, Welcome to the Commemorative Hypothetical Nonsense Thread - The High Addition.

The rules:
1. All questions asked must be hypothetical and not plausible or likely to occur in anyway.
2. To submit a hypothetical question to the group, you must first ANSWER a previous hypothetical question submitted by another poster. This excludes the JPF for the first post obviously, otherwise this thread is going nowhere...


So, starter:
If you had to commit any crime knowing you'd get caught, what would it be?

 

Public Urination as it's a small crime, with no jail time or criminal record.

If you had the option to become immortal would you accept?

 

Interesting...
As a human being with pretty obvious biological inclinations towards my own survival, I'd say yes. But does the prospect of loneliness and millenia of loss and pain outweigh the possibility of many loves and laughs? I do like the line in troy, about the Gods envying us because we're mortal and everything is more intrinsically beautiful because we're doomed, so I'd probably ultimately say no.


You are forced to engage in either necrophilia or beastiality... Which one would you pick?

 

Get in touch with DT, you need help.

 

She's not psychic, and her pets aren't that sexy, so I doubt it...

 

I think I might wait a bit to see if anyone else fancy's answering that one Liked your answer regarding immortality

 

for the record I'd choose necrophilia myself. Then at least I could explain to the corpse's family that I was being forced into it... An animal's family are going to be slightly less receptive to conversation.

 

I like that logic so find myself in agreement

Would you prefer to be able to fly or breathe under water?

 

Firstly, I'm glad you didn't say being able to fly or invisibility. That classic question amongst males receives the same moronic answer, somebody inevitably suggesting perving on women in some capacity, and then comes the same subsequent satisfied neanderthallic grunts of approval. Well if you can fly, you'd be a celebrity (and a less creepy celebrity), so women would be throwing themselves at you instead (sad but true)...

Anyway, back to the task at hand. I'm afraid of heights and cannot swim, so it's inevitably a difficult toss up. As a means of transport, flying would be more efficient... less s*** traffic willing to eat me, the speeds I'd be able to reach would be greater (as those necessary to escape earth's gravity and maintain altitude would be much higher than my ability to flail my arms through liquid), and I'd be able to get to more land based destinations (except where there are no fly zones... Not giving me impenetrable skin means I'm probably vulnerable to the latest guided missiles dispatched from the latest jet fighters, although I've never tested that personally).

So although there could be copious jacuzzi fun with the latter (queue satisfied neanderthallic grunts), I'd pick flight.

 

I do believe you have broken the thread by not asking a hypothetical question

 

Yes I would accept.

Now, if I did accept immortality, do you think I would ever get to see NUFC win the Premier League?

 

beastiality for me

commit any crime - see above (would you have your own wing in prison?)

I can breathe underwater already, so flying for me

Immortal? no thanks, its hard enough living this life, although your mortgage term could be increased so you have a really small monthly payment

No to NUFC winning anything ever

If you were born between 1620 - 1720 would you pick to be a pirate or serve in the Royal Navy? ( those dates were the golden age of piracy by the way)

 

Being of poor birth, choice of joining the Royal Navy is pretty much an illusion at that time, whereas I could more freely join a pirate crew. If you have to press gang people into employment, odds are it's less Horatio Hornblower and more titanic... If I'd been an upper class midget like Warm Pouch, I'd have picked the navy amid prospects of advancement and courageous endeavour (before madness and mutiny took hold). But no, I'll take a jolly good rogering thanks!

 

Would you rather live on another planet, or under the sea like the snorks?

 

Yes... When all other humans have died, you will don the black and white and, singlehandedly, win us the league... If you could be bothered.

 

There are many posters on here and on other boards who have first hand knowledge about living on other planets, so will leave them to answer that one

 

I'd rather live under the sea. Think of all the places you could travel!

Would you rather burn in hell or support Sunderland?

 

Support Sunderland. I have a number of Sunderland supporting mates who seem to suffer no more for their sad affliction than the rest of us.

If you could transport yourself back in time to attempt (not necessarily successfully - - its up to your resourcefulness) to change one event in history, what would it be ?

 

Without doubt 9/11. However if I did manage to inform America in time to stop it they'd probably have more than a few questions relating to how I knew about the planned attack in the first place etc.

If you could murder a serial killer that would go on to kill a further ten people in his life time (if you didn't kill him yourself) and you could get away with it would you take his/her life?