yours is the dodgy 4 though, mine means I can give and take away that amount. Me and Mick's dad are friends. You already said you don't have a penis, just big rough hands if I remember rightly.
The fact is no-one really notices his lack of hair because you are drawn to his phenomenally ugly mug. Best just to shave it all off. Or better still, go for a Brucie Forsyth syrup