That's because you aren't real, you're a fictional character created by Roderick Thorp, and portrayed by Alan Rickman.
Here comes the arse licking now he is paranoid about getting banned. I wonder how many private PMs he has sent the mods begging for forgiveness this time
Can't we just get rid of all the scousers? I keep reading their posts in a scouse accent, and it's giving me a headache.