The Mayuka Appreciation thread!

Oh how I've missed Sharpshooter...

 

I've missed you too baby boy!

 

I don't recall Mayuka changing the Spurs game, unless you count lazily refusing to get within 5 yards of Gareth Bale and allowing him to score the winning goal.

 

Think they're talking about the home leg, when we were woeful in the first half and he came on and really livened us up and caused their defence all kinds of problems.

 

Mo Farrah's quick and a "good lad" perhaps we should sign him. How many dangerous positions did he exactly get into last season?

I had visions of waking up next to Paris Hilton and although unlikely its proberly more likely than your vision . The reality is Gaston will have fallen over or given the ball away before his defense splitting pass and the only dangerous position mayuka will be in is if he gets a splinter up his arse or piles from sitting on the bench.

Waste of money, get rid.

 

The closest you'll get is waking up skint and hungover in a Paris whorehouse. Whereas my scenario is at least possible.

 

Odd taste in women.

 

Eh? He wasn't even on the pitch when Spurs scored their goals.

 

Away he was. He was jogging back instead of sprinting. But, that was without Morgan and Bale ran into Morgan's place.

 

My main worry with Mayuka is that his first touch seems so poor, if you're going to be the type of player that makes bursting runs onto through balls, you better make sure you can control it pretty well. Hopefully Cortese has begun to look into genetically modified players, if we get Lallana's first touch, Lambert's brain, Wanyama's physicality, Schneiderlin's work rate and Mayuka's pace engineered into one player, we are set!

 

And Fonte's six pack.

 

I watched the 3-0 highlights against Boro early this morning, just to view Guly's contribution and the Brazil goal, and one thing I noticed was that Jose was still wearing his Alice/Jesus band. Looked good too. The classic Mediterranean wild footballer look.

 

That Bale goal was probably a good example of how Mayuka didn't really adapt to the Premiership that well, not that he was the sole reason we lost that game. Breaking the defence and getting brought down by the keeper who somehow doesn't get sent off is great, but you have to do all those other things that no one sees on MotD, even more so in the Premiership than any other league. He's not the only player in that position though so no reason to start thinking about getting rid yet.

 

Pervert.

 

I'm sorry, I have to take issue with this. An Alice band is a truly disastrous fashion fail.

 

I agree with you Archers, especially now I have corrected this for you.

 

True. It's a perfectly acceptable look for little girls.