William Vainqueur

Damn, that yellow star doesn't hang around long does it?

 

This has not been mentioned in any press I've seen so expect him through the door by Friday.

 

Not any more - has re-signed with Standard!

 

Get French Football ‏@GFN_France 1h

A deal to Newcastle had been in the offing for several months now for Vainqueur, a 'determining factor' suddenly changed that. #NUFC

 

'Determining factor'? Suddenly? JK?

 

Breaking News

William Vainquier 'au revoir Liege, je suis gannin to toon, merci for the memories....'

(phone rings)

WV ''Allo?'

JFK 'is this ****in thing on, mah son?!'

WV 'errr...allo?'

JFK '****s sake abaht time you picked up, you muppet, ive got to be off to Mars for NASA soon to fight Darth Vader'

WV 'errr...ok....'ow can i 'elp you, monsieur?'

JFK 'well my son as i understand it, you're on a free now...and Michael laaavvvvssss a bit of a free at Nooooocarrsssellllll'

WV 'mais oui, i 'ave been expecting zis call...Monseiur Llambias and Monsieur Carr 'ave been telling me about zee great fans, zee great ground, zee plans for zee team, putting Douglas and Pierre-Emerick in wiz Cabaye, Ben Arfa and Collocini...Et Voila! I az a ticket on ze easyjet, i sign for le toons on wednesday i am thinking'

JFK 'now ****ing dont get ****** cocky with me, you foreign tart, i know who my team is...i mean alans team, that i am in charge of... lambezees ****ed off, we ****** aint signing that Doogles, cos hes an unknown quantity as any intelligent person will tell ya, not like those northern stupid monkees Michael and i are conning, and as for Peter Emerald ******* Boomerang, well, who the **** is he??!! We reckon you'll fit right in, when we've sold Kebabs, Tweety, Hat On Ben Affery, Messy Hairdryer and My-poo And My Beer, you can hoof the ball up to captain Shona and his son Sam.'

WV 'but zis is crazy..'

JFK 'shut yor ******* maaaffff, foreign paaaaahnsy, i know what im doing, i won the 1994 World Cup with my subbuteo team, the year after my 49er conker took down the Berlin Wall'

WV 'iz zat true, Monsieur?? Well i az my doubts, but i still sign i think...at least people will get to know my name in the premier league now'

JFK 'yeah, its a funny ******* name, innit, Willy ****er? Bloody foreigners. Never had this problem when i discovered Pele on Hackney Marshes'

WV 'excuse me, my name is William Vainqueir. Va-In-Qu-Eir. At least treat me with respect, no?'

JFK '****, Vain Queer, wait till Michael and me have a few cheeky beers when the geordie mugs get that on the back of their wonga'd ****ing shirts'

WV '**** zis, allo Liege, can i come back??!!!'


True Story.

 

The defining factor seems to be that we had no contact with him and expressed no interest. Makes sense, I could have married some lass from Sheffield I've never met, but having never met her or had any contact with her, those defining factors would cause problems.

 

JFK 'yeah, its a funny ******* name, innit, Willy ******? Bloody foreigners. Never had this problem when i discovered Pele on Hackney Marshes'
_________________________________

Thought he discovered Pele on Byker sands.