1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." 3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is a really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford Crew." 5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!" 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it." 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after getting a 69 yesterday." 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." 11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts." 12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." 13. "The Batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey" - Brian Johnston stating the bowler Michael Hodling and the batsman Peter Willey in a test cricket match 14. "Well, Botham just couldn't get his leg over there" - Brian Johnston when Ian Botham stood on his wicket after trying to step over them facing a fast bouncer
You have rekindled some great memories there mate that have cheered me up before I hit the sack following a nightshift.
You missed the Ted Lowe one about Fred Davis: 'Fred's getting on a bit and has trouble getting his leg over. Sometimes he prefers to use his left hand instead.'
Sir Bobby Robson We didn’t underestimate them but they were a lot better than we thought – after England sneaked through against Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup. The first 90 minutes are the most important. We’re flying on the Concorde. That’ll shorten the distance — that’s self-explanatory. I would have given my right arm to be a pianist. I’m not going to look beyond the semi-final – but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final. I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about. He’s very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him. If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won’t lay any eggs in the basket. There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game they lose. Steve Hodge has been unfit for two weeks, well, no, for 14 days. Look at those olive trees – they’re two hundred years old — from before the time of Christ! – Sir Bobby illustrates how great life is in Barcelona. Titus looks like Tyson when he strips off in the dressing-room, except he doesn’t bite and has a great tackle — on Titus Bramble at Newcastle. I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football. He’s got his legs back, of course, or his leg – he’s always had one but now he’s got two. He never fails to hit the target – but that was a miss. Sir Bobby to Bryan Robson: Good morning, Bobby. Bryan: You’re Bobby, I’m Bryan!
That Brian Johnson radio commentary is the greatest ever. Always makes me smile and worth listening too every time. Those Bobby Robson ones are great too and that Bryan Robson one is a story Ive heard him tell too. Briliant. There was also the one with Carl Cort (I think it was anyway) but I cant remember it where he kept calling him the worng name or something?
David Coleman (naturally) about the great Alberto Juantorena in the 1976 Olympics "And Juantorena opens his legs and shows his class"
Some more, hope I haven't repeated any. MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now." CHRIS Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night." WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees." ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg." CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off." JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?" THE new stand at Doncaster racecourse took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection." WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions." METRO RADIO - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
" If you are watching in black and white Chelsea are playing in blue" !, I think that is the way it went.
It was snooker i'm sure, for those of you watching in black & white the pink is right next to the red on the far side
Ted Lowe commentating on snooker a few years ago, " Ray Reardon cues up to play the brown ball and for those watching in black and white, it,s the one next to the pink..
