Punchlines (New game)

Hey peeps,

Got a new game. I come up with the news headline, you come up with the punchline, or a better news headline, should you wish...

 

i) A man who visited a doctor complaining of a swollen stomach has been told he is a woman11:32 5-Jun-13

 

ii) cow-killed-after-getting-loose-on-the-m1

http://www.chad.co.uk/news/tibshelf-cow-killed-after-getting-loose-on-the-m1-1-5727276

 

karl lagerfeld-wants-to-get-married-to-his-pet-cat

http://metro.co.uk/2013/06/05/karl-lagerfeld-wants-to-get-married-to-his-pet-cat-choupette-3829370/

 

Karl Lagerfeld likes pussy afterall

 

Moo-ve outa the way...

 

George Michael at it again?

 

Man: Whats wrong with me?

Doc: You've got egyptian flu, you're going to be a mummy

 

iv) A fraudster who sprinkled pubic hair over his curry to avoid paying for it has been jailed

 

Doctor said " Get over it, period"

 

Hair today, Gonorreah tomorrow.

 

Man caught by the short and curlies

 

Excellent...

 

loving your work....

 

v) A half-tonne mako shark caught in California waters could set a new world record, according to reports 10:32 6-Jun-13

 

"Susan Boyle pregnant!"

 

That's a relief says the man, nothing to do with the 14 bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale I drink every night then....................

 

Bollocks...you were thinking on the same lines as me OneLeeds...

 

This games too difficult for my little brain