Must be in his late 50's or something, possibly early 60's, bald and 'away with the fairies', so to speak. Reeks of stale pish and wears clothes only fit for a blind man. Anyway today he came in fairly happy with himself, no one knows why. He gave an old hearty - ''I'm away out for lunch today!'' - before proceeding to go outside with his Spiderman packed lunchbox. That was at 12 o'clock. We've now just heard from the police that he's been found dead a quarter of a mile up the road, with what's being describe as an 'Aeriel Attack' from a colony of Seagulls. He was found clutching an empty Rivita packet. <RIP>
