The People Who Are Better Than Us Commemorative Awards Ceremony

This is an Awards Ceremony for those who are superior to us, you or I in any particular way... So obviously after a festering turd of a season, this is slightly off-topic...


I humbly admit my inferiority towards, and thus grant awards, to the following;

The wheelchair bound - It is a cruel fate that some of the nicest people on earth are confined to a chair, and I admire the positivity most of them seem to have despite their situation. If it were me, I'd make snide and sarcastic remarks at every bloody biped that dared walk, saunter, jump, hop, skip, run or flip passed me, and probably try and bite their legs off, simply for having the ability to jog or do the missionary position at a moments notice.

Dogs - Not the unfortunate ladies of Sunderland, but the animal kind. I certainly couldn't be happy to see anyone, all the time. And my attempts at humping people's legs certainly don't cause humans as much amusement and joy.

The X Factor Winners - I'd maybe do it for a trip to space or something, but winning a poxy talent(less) competition? I'd defo not sleep with Cowell for that.

Howard Webb - My day would be far more enjoyable if I got an erection every time someone shouted abuse at me.

Weather Forecasters - Why on earth do they have to stand infront of a green screen and guess where everything is? Hardest job in the world. Just project the bloody map on the background so they can see what they're loosely wafting a finger at.

Who else deserves our applause and respect?

 

You're a good organizer G, why don't you organize an out of season not606 coach trip somewhere?

 

Bearded television presenters of the 70's and 80's who are yet to be named in a news article of any kind in the last 6 months.
Can't be many so surely they deserve a mention? If only to jog a few memories...

 

Im inferior to Boro fans. I only have four fingers and a thumb on each hand. They have an extra one.

 

I'm inferior to anybody who hasn't face-planted a tree and concussion in the middle of exams...

 

Have you tried?

Pic to prove it.

 

Now that would be worthy of an award.

 

Things we're inferior to

Sherbert Dabs
Paul Hollywood
Daleks
Sean the sheep
Candyfloss

(that is by the way, the entire list)

 

If you can do hand stands whilst at the same time holding an umbrella in your feet it's worth a go.

 

Pics to prove it?

 

Rep jail I'm afraid.

You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.

 

I discovered -to my cost, just a few years back that just because your bird likes Wii games that's no excuse for waking her up and pissing on her face.

 

as an engineer that drives a white van,im below everybody from overseas that's on any list that entitles them to anything and everything for free