Area 51

Why is there only one monopolies commission ?

 

What does an occasional table do the rest of the time?

 

Because they are all so unreliable !

 

Why aren't airplanes made of the same material as the indestructable black boxes?

 

Why does bottled water that has been filtered through volcanic rock for thousands of years have a use by date?

 

Or for that matter, why are the black boxes orange?

 

With boats I think it's probably due to the extortionate running and upkeep costs once you get one.

 

Why do chocolate fingers not have knuckles?

 

I actually know the answer to this! They were designed by a Dr. Black and so are named after him! They are orange in order to assist locating them where and when necessary!

 

Why do English people insist on using Americanisms? Actually a semi serious point (as well as an opportunity to rib our pet binner) The one that annoys me most is "Have you got a girlfriend?" - "I do"

 

Why are July's editions of magazines released in the beginning of June? Do the editors really think we'll believe that the articles have been written by timelords?

 

If there is such a thing as evolution why does grass continue to grow, surely it must get the point sooner or later, never mind it's what I do in the summer awaiting the next footie season

 

Why is Big such a small word and Infinitesimal such a large one?

Thanks for the info on the biscuits. I only by value ones for the grandchildren whereas I buy McVities or Hob Nobs for myself.

 

I have some powdered water at home. Does anybody know what to mix it with?

 

How did this song get to #2 in the UK charts in the early 80's?

[video=youtube;-VIqA3i2zQw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VIqA3i2zQw[/video]

 

Unfortunately silly buggers born between 1966 and 1970 thought it was cool!

 

I bought that song!

We spend our lives being governed by time and the dreaded alarm clock in the mornings. We set it before every working day to get us up, we watch the hands slowly move on it for 8 hours every day at work, we do our best to hit every deadline demanded by it for about 40 years of our lives! So when we retire why the **** do we get a clock?

 

So you can hold it! After all, you'll have time on your hands won't you!

<COAT>