Who Needs A Hypothetical Slap? Thread

So, if you could give anyone a hypothetical slap for this season, either to wake them up or for the purposes of personal (or sexual) gratification, who would be most deserving?

While Police Horse is definitely partially responsible for a miserable season (all the pace, none of the footballing ability... Oh wait, do I mean Obertan?), I'd give mine to Cisse, although it's a close call... STAY ONSIDE... PLEASE

 

The police horse? That's cruelty to animals, I'm going to report you to the RSPCA.

 

you missed off Ranger

 

Ranger isn't worth the calories it would use up slapping him!

 

You needed more than one option for this poll. The board, manager, fans and players all need a slap to some extent for me. Of the players Cisse and his offsides (although he was much better in the derby), Santon and his ****e defensive work, and Tiote and his wayward passing would be main picks. Some of the others are just limited or have genuine reasons for their ****ness at one stage or another. Cabaye for instance was ridiculously good when he first came back from injury, as was Sissoko when he first arrived but the manager (probably justifiably) has run both into the ground and they've been treading water for a couple of weeks.

I love horses so don't think they should be slapped. Personally rather than wasting police time or public money, I think that bloke should be placed in the horses box when he is having a moody day and see how he gets on.

 

Cisse most definetely, the times that he is offside or just plainly missed the goal are numerous. Just not good enough for the PL.

 

I've gone for Tiote as we can only vote for one. Slap Tiote - get him angry - he slaps the others! (oh - and run like hell after slapping him!!)

 

All those morons who behaved so appallingly after the match, every last one deserves a damn good slap. Mindless idiots and an absolute disgrace to both the town and club.
Plus, that brave soul who thought it big to punch the Police horse, ought to be made to muck out his stable with his bare hands for a week. What a prize plank !

 

Bare hands? What about his tongue?

 

That's not much of a punishment because horse sh*te is good for cold sores, if it's applied twice daily it works wonders. It doesn't get rid of them but it does stop you licking your lips.

 

I feel you needed an "All of the above" option.

 

Without Cisse's goals we would be firmly rooted into the bottom 3, hes the last person deserving of a slap.

Pardew every day of the week.

 

I'd slap Boa. Earlier in the season id slap MrTiote

 

You'll have to slap me first because I'm at front of the queue.

 

Ashley.
He should have spent in the summer.

 

Its ok I'll soon have him constricted again

 

Id slap Santon with the back of my hairy hand.
an 'Archie slap' from RocknRolla, nice crisp connection.

 

I'd slap Williamson.




Just for the sake of it