Wow. I had an inkling of Mrs. Matt's condition, and clearly no cowardice there. I was in a similar space once a long time ago and the bleakness is overwhelming. She probably won't ever know the extent of it but she's so lucky to have you there for Matt. Must be quite someone in many other ways. As for Chico, thanks for sharing some real demons mate. Absolutely horrific in anyone's language. Speaks volumes, more so given your young age, that you take such a responsible role on here when you don't have to. Even without knowing the facts, we were mortified when we heard what had happened to you. Knowing them puts it all in perspective. They say there's a reason for everything, just takes times to suss it. In your case, the reasons aren't apparent at all - only that triumph comes out of adversity. You're doing all the right things for a better future for your newer family old son. Don't know how but you must be one solid cookie deep down. PS - Big up Steve for us all will you? He was a real brick in keeping all us 'strangers' informed when the chips were down.
Thanks for sharing that Chico. I wish you and your family well in the coming weeks and months. Luckily I don't know a whole pile about this illness. What I do want to say though, is I hope people can now understand why I always ask people to show some respect to others when arguing on here. You never know what a person can be going through in their private life and the last thing they may need is abuse on here.
WOW! Puts things in perspective! Mat/Chico I'm in awe of you both. Hope that doesn't come across as patronising.
I am sincerely pleased you have seen that love shines through. Your story is a tough one my friend and i respect you for sharing it. I myself have melted twice in my life and had two short periods inside mental institutions and until five years ago I was still under the care of the East Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust ... When the questions get too hot inside your head then laugh at them... was my way out. Following a number of suicides/deaths and relationship breakdowns I went for broke on an massive apathetic scale ... I gave away most of my money and **** and since then never looked back ... we all find ourselves in the end. I know exactly the dark feelings related to bringing pain upon yourself and others ... it's a powerful beast when ripe. But you beat that bastard back into it's box Chico you control it ... Anger is an energy and positive ... I had so many doctors than i ended up spinning telling me to let it all go and other useless **** until one bloke said **** it to my monkey mind and the penny dropped that the answer is always inside yourself ... as only yourself knows yourself and only yourself can help yourself. Yes it has left scars and at times i laugh at stuff that others would find distasteful or do things without a seconds thought but i now live since 2007 by rolling the dice ... i am not saying nothing else
I really do sympathise with QPR Matt and his fiancee as it's not easy seeing someone go through/going through depression and/or a long term illness. As most of you know from a previous thread I was born at the old Queen Charlotte's Hospital (now flats) close to Stamford Brook tube station. I was born after 26 weeks and weighed 2 lb 10 oz. I was fine for 2 days and then a lack of oxygen lead to slight brain damage and I didn't see the outside world until I was 4 months old. The problems came when I was at college - didn't recover from a virus which lead to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in 1999, which I have suffered from ever since. Also on/off depression. Unfortunately health professionals know very little about CFS. To raise awareness to others of CFS just spend a few minutes looking at this please - http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chronic-fatigue-syndrome/Pages/Symptoms.aspx
Powerful thread, huge respect to those who have shared their stories, all of which give the lie to Queens' frankly ignorant OP. Depression, psychoses, neuroses etc are medical conditions which we are, sadly, not always very good at diagnosing and treating yet. But no one should ever feel any guilt or shame from having them - they can hit anyone at any time, and people do recover, as the splendid DT testifies. For all of you who suffer, or are close to people who suffer, either now or in the past, stay strong and remember there are always people to talk to.
Totally agree. I have never been to the depths that some have described here, but I have had to take time off from work for a few months to get over quite severe stress. Now stress and depression are pretty closely linked and for me, I suddenly found my eyes darting around and pins and needles in my face. Scared the **** out of me and I went straight to the doc. After I'd explained that I'd been through quite a bit over a condensed few months (split up with wife; Mother died; moved house; new partner's daughter diagnosed with leukaemia; business struggling) he pointed out that, having been through so many of the top 5 "most stressful" events, I was suffering from severe stress. Long walks in the country and time off work were diagnosed. I tried therapy, but it wasn't for me! These days, I can now recognise when it starts to creep up on me and that recognition is half the battle for me. We're all different and we all handle things in our individual ways. The main problem with stress/depression is that there are still too many people out there who react to it with "oh....just pull yourself together"!
Sorry to hear that Col - therapy wasn't for me either. I tried a relaxation course and by the time I was relaxed the session had finished, also I found it hard talking to a complete stranger about my problems. My pet hate is when people say "oh you're looking well", when actually you feel like crap!
Ash/Matt.....Huge amount of respect to you sharing your story with "strangers".....stay strong....you are in our thoughts....
In what way was I criticising someone for divorcing if they have kids, Col? And in what way was I making a judgement on other people's lives and decisions? As a divorced person myself, I respectfully ask that you point to the specific passage(s) where I am guilty of these things that you accuse me of.
I am so, so glad that others have shared their stories. Ours one thing i have never been able to do, but it makes the weight shrink by a huge amount.
i can understand some of the things people on this thread would have gone through, i came close to ending my life about 6 months ago, i went through a period of about 2-3 weeks when i couldnt quite bring myself to commit suicide, but also couldnt bring myself to ask for help. i had been suffering from an mental health condition for about 4 years which was getting worse and worse without being treated. all i can really remember from this period was crossing roads without looking and hoping a car would run me over, and horrible things along those lines. i do not suffer from depression, though members of my family have, and do suffer from the condition. it drove me mad having to constantly bottle up my problems and emotions. i believe that if i had put off talking about my problems for another year, i wouldnt be here. owning up to having a mental health conditions is one of the hardest things there is IMO. as for suicide itself, people who get that far to doing it arent thinking straight in my opinion. i can think straight now, and although i am not out of the other end of my problems, i would not do it. to call suicide a selfish act shows that you havent been there - thats what i used to think, and i do not judge someone like chico for what he has done. clearly he has gone through **** that i will hopefully never have to go through. incidentally, chico was one who offered me advice at the time, which helped greatly, he's a good guy
Swamp, I am pleased I could help you. iv always looked out for others rather than myself, but i knew no better. Glad you are on the mend, a am I.
I hadn't read all the posts before replying and now having read Chico's and others posts my comment seems inconsiquential to say the least. I can understand your problems with the opening paragraph but I agree with the overall sentiment that those who have never truly experienced such matters are incapable of understanding how depression affects people and their families. In a weird way those considered ignorant on this issue could equally be labelled as lucky never to have had to experience the horrors that can accompany depression.
Your story is very moving and it is a testament to your strength and resilience that you've made it so far. The fact that you've shown yourself to be an even and thoughtful man with it is a nothing short of amazing. I'm glad that you're also drawing on the strength of the people closest to you. Even as you can see just from us relative strangers, there's a lot of understanding and humanity left at every corner. The stories shared by the likes of Stamford Brook, Col, DT and alluded to by others show that there's a huge range of "invisible" illnesses and because the sufferer doesn't go around with a pained expression gets dismissed all too lightly in many cases with flippant "chin up" remarks. The openness of folks here is a shining example of the need to educate many but also to the empathy and support that can be found out there (and on here).
