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Rangers dating agency

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Camel, Jan 29, 2010.

  1. Camel

    Camel Member

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    got this one emailed to me:



    Dateahun presents for all you lonley heart huns out there Glasgows finest selection of young free and single ladies for the lonley hun. Feast your eyes on our lovley Hunnettes

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    Nicknamed the Chief because of her amazing resemblance to The silent star of One Flew over the Cukoo's nest, Billymena knows what a bigot likes.
    Aged in her 40's but looking considerably older she still can show the young hunettes a thing or two and she has a fantastically placed bolt through her nose that keeps her minute brain attached. .

    Roger Federhun
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    Rodger is in her 50's and coincedentally it was in the 50's that she last washed her hair. This professionally taken picture was used in a government campaign on slaughterhouse pigs in order to stun them humanely.
    She is a member of the Bridgeton Loyal and can sing the Billy Boys in five different languages, all of which include the offensive add-ons.


    Roberta Prytz
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    Roberta has been surgically altered to resemble her hero Robert Prytz, the continental Orc from the 80's. Aged 18 from Larkhall Roberta still lives in the 80's and the clothing and her are a testimony to that. She offers her clients a 'trip back in time' to the good old days when The Sash was played over the tannoy and you could be ' up to your knees' in anyone's blood without fear of reprisals. Please note Roberta will not entertain any clients of a Catholic persuasion with the exception of clients called Maurice. Please refrain from wearing green.

    Big Davey
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    Davina is a 23 stone beaut from Bridgeton Cross. Despite being a heavy smoker Davina believes she belies her 16 years of age. Davina enjoys cross country running, going to the gym and shaving.. Davina has just recenly joined the property ladder and her new 1 roomed shed at Glasgow Green is where she now does her 'business' from.
    " It may be a sh*tehole" says Davina " but it's my sh*tehole!"



    Tango
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    Is it a man or a woman? This is the question that tantalising Tango, aged 30 leaves us dangling with. Tango, real name Boaby, claims to have 'added extras' for the more discerning Orc male. Another smoker she offers a rainbow array of teeth, one of which is nearly white. Can whistle the sash whilst having a tab.



    Madame Ludge

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    Gentelmen prefer blondes, however your average Hun will accept the next best thing and The 'Madame' wont dissapoint. New 'Nicotine Blonde' from Wella has the tongues wagging on the catwalk and the 'Madame' has her finger on the pulse...despite not having a pulse herself.
    Knows all 16 verses of God save the Queen verbatim.

    Calls cost £16.90 per minute.
    No Catholics and all callers must have an IQ of maximum 10. Please check with your mum ( or sister) to see who fiddles the bill before calling. If your mum IS your sister please check with her!


    ====================================

    on a side note, as per my other thread shouldnt but would, id mibbe fling Madame Ludge about, if I was pushed to make a choice like!!<ok>
     
    #1
  2. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    *must try harder
     
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  3. Camel

    Camel Member

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    for **** sake how do I get them pics to work, it wont even let me dl them....


    *** sorted but that was a pain in the fookin arse***
     
    #3
  4. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    good luck
     
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  5. wizgub

    wizgub Member

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    get your aids cured and try again?
     
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  6. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    LR and Wizgub are raging that you've posted pictures of their birds on the net Camel.
     
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  7. Camel

    Camel Member

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    I thought it was funny, bearing in mind it was sent to me to wum me up (Im a Hun), Venom youd shag big davey in a heartbeat......do the sheep wear water wings or do you swim ashore up there?
     
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  8. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    they couldnt be my mrs venom, some of them are smiling
     
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  9. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    I'm from the Highlands Camel, we shag Tractors not Sheep.
     
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  10. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    #10

  11. Camel

    Camel Member

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    do you say Nae itrestit lol . hurdy gurdys i call em!. Mates family is from stornaway (not highlands) but still way north, they talk well funny.
     
    #11
  12. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    most ridiculous accent has to be a toss up between them and doric freaks
     
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  13. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Nah, we speak the Queen's English up my way. Bet you're jealous.
     
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  14. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    wuddy buck!
     
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  15. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Rubber Bumpers!
     
    #15
  16. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    "centril-fuooogal"

    i make my brother say this to me when i'm drunk <laugh>
     
    #16
  17. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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