I have no Friends

If he was trying to make his life so depressing that he'd want to kill himself I'd have suggested you too

 

Cheers, Rogue, I appreciate your support at this difficult time. It's like you're always stuck in second gear, you know? A bit like it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even – come to think of it - your year. And did anyone ever think to tell me life would be this way? No, no one did – which makes your support all the sweeter. You’re a good man.

 

Blimey Psycho, your life's a joke.

 

Tell me about it. Still in bed at ten, the work began at eight. I’ve burned my breakfast, things are going great.

It's just one ****ing thing after another, to be honest, although my mother did warn me there'd be days like these.

 

Check my post history Psycho, you'll feel much better after reading that.

 

Still, as long as your love life isn't DOA you'll be fine.

 

Then again there's always masturbation with a friend if you have one. Dogs can be trained for that sort of caper too.

Failing that, try sitting on rubber spikey things

 

Unfortunately, I’m simply too compassionate and caring for my own good, Sleepy. I’ll read of your woes and take the burden of your suffering upon myself – and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that to happen.

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Oh, you're good at this. (Please don't take that as praise.)

 

Unless like me you dabble in the old necrophilia..

 

Oh, why?