Just ask my wife. She likes all those crime dramas (CSI, Criminal Minds etc) and after about 5 minutes I've usually worked out whodunnit and at the end when I've been proven correct she tells me to **** off. I think this is the basis for a long lasting and happy relationship where I get to wind up my other half and she gets the benefit of my superior intellect. What winds up your missus? (if you have one, just saying)
Mick, start up a new forum on a new big box. I'm about to start complaining about what's wrong with my wife.
CSI must be the worst ****ing program ever. I used to watch it but once you've seen one you've seem them all. I watch comedy and documentaries, wanna shack up GR? Let's dump the vag. I make a good cup of tea too.
When I'm pumping her and without warning her I ram it up her exhaust. When I pump her when she's on blob and I try to get her to suck my cock clean When I shoot my load over her tits but the first rush of jizz goes over the top and lands in her hair When I get home on Friday after working away all week, eat my dinner, go to the pub and expect sex when I et back half pissed.
My wife said to me on Saturday - "lets not drink tonight and have sex instead". Daft ****. Note: We didn't have sex.
I tried to pump her last night and she knocked me back, so I had a **** instead and came all over the carpet. That'll teach her
I like comedies and history programmes and I also bake better than anything you see on The Great British Bake Off so I might have to take you up on your kind offer. Would you mind if I cheated on you every now and again though because I can't do without the gash.
GR, if I can have you I'd be over the moon. I know you will have needs, just go and satisfy them and don't tell me. What I don't know can't hurt me. How many cups of tea do I have to make for you each day though?
On average I'd drink about 8 cups of tea during the day and every now and again might have a frothy coffee. Just make sure that when you say you are going to bed that you actually stay there and don't come back downstairs because I need some me-time with the PC and a box of Kleenex and it is sometimes difficult to pretend I am looking at something other than filth especially when I'm on the vinegar strokes. On the plus side I am handy around the house, if you need a shelf putting up or a plug on the washing machine I'm your man.
I can't even take a piss when someone stands next to me (stage fright) so no chance of being able to knock one off if you are watching! Saying that, one of the best ****s I ever had was when the bird du jour said she'd always wanted to watch a bloke tug one out. I duly obliged but said that I needed a visual stimilus and told her to get nekkid. Ended up jizzing on her tits and belly.
In the "pre-******ed ejaculation" days I loved to whack one off with the bird watching. It got awful disappoining when she used to get more into sorting herself out than watching me though. <I'm a **** ****er>
Did I see you getting your hair shaved off for charity at Asda Newton Mearns on Saturday? You are one ugly lesbo BTW.
