Manager Story Workshop Thread

Copy and paste the following story into a comment, and add in words, phrases or paragraphs into the gaps. You're allowed as many words as you want, and the story can turn out to be as factually relevant and on-topic as you wish... Any words you add should be highlighted in BOLD or UNDERLINED in your comment



Born -----------------, the manager known as --------- began life as a ----------------, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with ---------------- and -------------------, they were installed as manager with their most recent team ----------------.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is ----------------------, they also have an innate superpower which gives them --------------------. However, their most obvious weakness is ------------------, and this often leads to ----------------.

To date, the greatest achievement ------------- has achieved is --------------, which brought great ----------- to many faces. At present, ----------- is preparing ---------------. a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their ------- story.

 

Born James Perch,the manager known as Perchinhobegan life as a raving lunatic running a third world African country,before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with MI6and Blockbusters,they were installed as manager with their most recent team Liechtenstein women's u18s

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is the ability to beat God in a staring contest, they also have an innate superpower which gives them Thighs the size of ****ing skyscrapersHowever, their most obvious weakness is that he only speaks the language of the Wookiesand this often leads to uncomfortable TV interviews, especially when Harry Redknapp begins to communicate with him in their shared language (MAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH)

To date, the greatest achievement This God of the footballing worldhas achieved is not turning homosexual, despite playing in a team containing sexual icons Yohan Cabaye, Davide Santon and Gabriel Obertanwhich brought great numbers of people to announce their homosexualityto many faces. At present, the world's greatest ever player, baring Heskey and Akinfenwa, his ultimate rivalsis preparing to take a massive dump, having eaten a scorching hot vindaloo for dinner last night,a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their almost 50-shades-esque graphicstory.

 

Can't wait to read your novels GCT

 

Born a sexy and vibrant gypsy woman in her native Spain, the manager known as Rafa Benitez began life as a fortune teller, peddling exotic lies to satisfy gullible ugly girls, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with woodland inhabiting witches and the love of a cruel and uncaring Magic 8 Ball, they were installed as manager with their most recent team Chelsea.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is a sexual act capable of satisfying any Russian billionaire, they also have an innate superpower which gives them an entirely different definition of the word "FACT" to most people. However, their most obvious weakness is blonde hair and pre-pubescent looks, and this often leads to playing Torres despite his stinkiness.

To date, the greatest achievement Rafa "Lola" Benitez has achieved is leaving Liverpool, having filled their side with hopelessly average players and spent all their money, which brought great relief to many faces. At present, Lola is preparing to do the same thing to Chelsea a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their sexy-gypsy story.

 

Born Heysue Gandalf, the manager known as Ali began life as a shepherd boy, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with Morpeth and Amble, he was installed as manager with their most recent team Raggy Arsed Rovers with his trusty companion DT.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is something that sounds like wit, they also have an innate superpower which gives them the gift of the gab. However, their most obvious weakness is pride, and this often leads to a fall.

To date, the greatest achievement Heysue has achieved is mastering the art of being able to catch his chewing gum ( something all great managers use a lot of ), on his tonsils and being able to swing it left and right which brought great smirks to many faces. At present, Heysue and DT are preparing a Rep Attack. a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their Never Ending story.

 

Copy and paste the following story into a comment, and add in words, phrases or paragraphs into the gaps. You're allowed as many words as you want, and the story can turn out to be as factually relevant and on-topic as you wish... Any words you add should be highlighted in BOLD or UNDERLINED in your comment



Born on his birthday, the manager known as PVC began life as a Peruvian Nose Flutist before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with B&Q and Dalai Lama United they were installed as manager with their most recent team MGB, otherwise known as Money, Grabbing, Barstewards.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is Holding their breath underwater, they also have an innate superpower which gives them the ability to hover above ground, whilst reciting poems by Shelly, Byron and Keats. However, their most obvious weakness is an inability to prevent the weekly invasion of marauding hoards and this often leads to copious amounts of rape and pillage, but never the day before a game.

To date, the greatest achievement PVC has achieved is learning to tie his own shoelaces which brought great sadness to the many faces of those making Velcro shoe fastenings. At present, Mrs PVC is preparing to give birth to twins to be named Cellophane and Perspex. a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their
sadly mundane but all too true story.

 

Born a bastard child of a hyena and a Michelin Tyre , the manager known as Cheesy McNuggets, Esq the III began life as a humble washboard player in a skiffle band from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with new wave acts Devo and Talking Headsand also a short lived stint haunting Robbins cinema in Durham as homage to the Phantom of the Opera, they were installed as manager with their most recent team

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.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is to telepathically control a pod of dolphins for purely malevolent porpoises (sorry couldn't resist), they also have an innate superpower which gives them the loudest yodel in all of the Bavarian Alps, from the majestic Wallberg to the mighty Zugspitze . However, their most obvious weakness is intolerance, and this often leads to not tolerating other peoples view points.

To date, the greatest achievement this god amongst men has achieved is to capture all three legendary Pokemon on Pokemon Yellow., which brought great amounts of guano to many faces. At present, Forbe's Magazine's World's Most Powerful Humanoid is preparing a stir fry. a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their understated story.

 

Born Alan Claire Pardew, the manager known as Pardiola began life as a sperm sample carelessly discarded, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with West 'Ammm and being a gambling and porn addict, aside from his rampant alcoholism, they were installed as manager with their most recent team Le Toon.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is shaving so much closer than Mach 3 ultra turbo razors that he takes his top lip off too, they also have an innate superpower which gives them a management position from nowhere, and occasionally world class players from a third party, even though that's illegal. However, their most obvious weakness is the incriminating footage Jonas and Shola have of him with Ashley's ex-wife, and this often leads to cack-wing play and much herpes.

To date, the greatest achievement Pardiola has achieved is 5th place in the premier league with Newcastle United, which brought great slimy Tashgasms to many faces. At present, Mike Ashley is preparing to give Pardew a massive extension to his contract, and his ex some beautiful roses, to see if he can arrange an amicable meeting to discover why their happy relationship was torn apart so suddenly, and why she always smelt of the James Bond cologne only Pardiola liked... and maybe why she kept saying "Alan" over and over again whenever they made love... that one time... and why he itched and swelled painfully for weeks afterwards... It just makes no sense, a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their see-saw story.

 

Born Free, the manager known as wind began life as a blower, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with Grass Grows and Wind Blow, they were installed as manager with their most recent team Rabbit.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is blowing, they also have an innate superpower which gives them freedom. However, their most obvious weakness is Grass, and this often leads to blowing.

To date, the greatest achievement Wind has achieved is David Camerons Hairs, which brought great humour to many faces. At present, Wing is preparing blowing. a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their amazing story.

 

Born Adebayo Akinfenwa, the manager known as Akinfenwa began life as a tank, before switching to a career in 'footballing'. Following spells with Barry Town and Gillingham, they were installed as undercover manager with their most recent team Northampton Town

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is BEING A COMPLETE BEAST, they also have an innate superpower which gives them immense animal magnetism. However, their most obvious weakness is being too strong, and this often leads to a trail of broken defenders and women.

To date, the greatest achievement Akinfenwa has achieved is not destroying the universe which brought great tears of gratefulness to many faces. At present, Akinfenwa is preparing to enter as a one-man team in the next World Cup in Brazil, a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their frankly unbelievable story.

 

Born in the ancient land of Caledonia, the manager known as Rudolph McRednose began life as an apprentice to Viking longboat builders, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with Hoots mon FC and Auchoil City, he was installed as manager with his most recent team OTT FC.

Aside from his many strengths, one of which is an insatiable desire to chew up & spit out the media, he also has an innate superpower which gives him power over a referee’s eyesight & watch. However, his most obvious weakness is red wine & a wee dram, and this often leads to an awfu havering & him gauning his dinger necessitating a paltry offering to the self-appointed Footballing Deities.

To date, the greatest achievement McRednose has achieved is winning of the tossing the caber 2000 (otherwise known as the flying boot), which brought great mirth & glee to many faces. At present, Rudolph is preparing Life without a trophy, a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in My son manages the Mighty Posh story.

 

Good write up Minxy, McRednose would be proud of it.

 

Born long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, the manager known as Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel began life as an upper class twit of the year, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with The Ministry of Magic (see what I did there?) and The Ministry of Silly Walks, they were installed as manager with their most recent team The Very Naughty Boys.

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is being a lucky, lucky barsteward, they also have an innate superpower which gives them terrible flatulence. However, their most obvious weakness is that his mother was a hamster, and this often leads to his father smelling of elderberries.

To date, the greatest achievement Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel has achieved is being the Messiah, which brought great comedy moustaches to many faces. At present (Grand Moff) Tarquin's boss, Darth Vader, is preparing A SHRUBBERY!!!. a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their "There and back again, a Sith Lord's Tale" story.

 

Very good Obi

 

I'm sure you could do a badger one Gandalf.



Pleeeeeaaaasse.


Pleeeeeeaaaaasssssse!

 

Born with a terrible thirst for violence at the expense of mankind, and some Mackems, the manager known as Bradley Andrew David Grodgar Erik Robertson Mustelidae III began life as a respectable socialist Badger, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with FC Warrior Valga and a brief intermission as one of Prince Phillip's Royal concubines, they were installed as manager with their most recent team Colby AFC... Which one can only imagine means something dark and sadistic in the weird Manx tongue....

Aside from their many strengths, one of which is his fine hosting skills and social etiquette, which recently saw him crowned celebrity "Strictly Come Dine With Me, But I'm a Celebrity, Take Me Out" Champioli, they also have an innate superpower which gives them the ability to hibernate and plot their dastardly takeover of the Human Race. However, their most obvious weakness is slight tickling round those cutsey wootsey little ears awwwwwwwwww, and this often leads to Tashgasms and increased tourism throughout the British Isles.

To date, the greatest achievement Bradley has achieved is The Communist Manifesto, under the pseudonym Karl Marx and a great deal of human pubic hair he found round the back of WP's holiday apartment, which brought great fluff and eczema to many faces. At present, Brad is preparing to step into his David Cameron costume for the thousandth day in a row, power through the many tedious hours of foreplay Samantha demands, and convince Clegg to support a few more policies which will see us all reduced to Surf status, a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in their totally true and believable story.

 

Burning the midnight oil G?

 

This is such fun, thanks Gandalph

Born in the mystical land of Houdinia, the manager known as Harold began life as a wandering minstral, amazing the villagers with his quick wit and slight of hand, before switching to a career in football management. Following spells with Bubble Blowers Town and Southern Ports United, he was installed as manager with his most recent team Hula Hoop FC.

Aside from his many strengths, one of which is a blarney stone kissing gift of the gab, he also has an innate superpower which gives him power undo purse strings, remove gold whilst leaving the emperor happily parading in his new robes. However, his most obvious weakness is the inability to fool all of the people all of the time, and this often leads to Judas T-shirts and banners.

To date, the greatest achievement Harold of Houdinia has achieved is his escape artistry performed in front of millions of sceptical viewer, which brought great apoplexy to many faces. At present, Harold is preparing Now you see it, Now you don’t, a chapter just awaiting an enthusiastic write-up in My Simply Life story.