OT Alternative Commentary SUPERBOWL FINAL(...I think it's the final)

Thought I'd give anybody interested a place to discuss a major sporting event (I'm assuming "Super" is their best adjective? There's no "spectacular bowl" is there?) of interest!

It's being billed as "the battle of the siblings", but there's a bit more sport involved than the Mackem challenge of the same name, which presumably involves greatest conceiving rate amongst cousins...

The teams are;

Ravens vs 49-ers

A few kids are currently making a "beautiful" intro to the American National anthem... Just think, if they mimed, they could sound like Beyonce!

 

currently, there's some bint on a piano "singing" the american national anthem. She couldn't carry a tune even with the help of the piano moving co.

 

I was about to say the number 49 seemed to be hypnotized by Alicia (Alopecia, Montoya, Treseme, Friedchickenita... ) Keys' rendition of Star Spangled Banner...

But that's just because he plays for the 49-ers... Probably about sums up how this is going to go for me...

On Madden I let the computer pick my tactics for me and just randomly button-mash

 

apparently the teams have a 54 man roster

 

Baltimore Ravens have won the toss... The way their capitaino looks, I'd have probably let him do whatever he wanted even he'd lost....

 

Ref's name is Boger.

 

Heck these guys are stacked...

Anyway, 49ers received, ball was kicked long, the 49ers had a 1st and 10 and made it with a long pass, but they had an illegal formation apparently, so it's 1 and 15. Definite hint of the Swedish total football sexiness that has purged the actual football world there. Good call!

 

The Ravens have made a first down... and another one...

I think I've found my sexual fetish for the evening... Number 82 is a dreaded dreamboat

Just caught a very good 20 yard(ish) throw... Got tackled off the ball by an utter *******... LEAVE MY 82 ALONE BITCH... UH HUH!

 

Oh, and San Francisco offside now... Although there's clearly like 8 opposition players between him and the goal... This ref is a homer!

TOUCH DOWN RAVENS... and a conversion sees them take an early lead! Already lost track of the score...

 

Ravens lead by 7. I've decided I'm rooting for them tonight based on I prefer their kit

 

Seems as good a reason as any I'm supporting them because they're all built like the Michelin man and I'm scared they'll hunt me down and find me if I don't...

Something deeply sensual about a hint of purple... Brings out the eyes of number 82...

The crowd are either getting doughnuts or preemptive insulin-shots at the moment, so I'm going to get some toast!

 

I think the 49'ers #7 left the coat hanger in his jersey...

 

And because your girlfriend would kill you if you supported the 49ers...

 

Oh Michael Crabtree just caught a pass for the 49-ers and ran (a bit like a spooked deer) 19 yards...

And steady gains are getting the 49-ers further up the field and near a mysterious orange line... a line which I'm sure keeps moving... Wish Newcastle could apply this technology to our goal-line!

And smelly Crabtree has shelled a simple catch... What a tool... And obviously not a ball catching tool. And while I was typing that and not watching, SF got 3 points for something... Presumably America has been infected with the British "everyone's a winner" syndrome and given them some points to ease the pain of being **** at catching... NO. MY KID HAS BEEN TRAINING NIGHT AND DAY, MOSTLY AGAINST HIS WILL, I WANT A MEDAL!!!! That's sanity and the spirit of competition right there

 

Nah, it's past ten O'clock. At the moment she only has the energy for sleeping on me in an uncomfortable position or snoring in my face... perhaps both

Welcome to the thread dear!

 

I saw a documentary on this a while back (possibly after last year's superbowl) and there's like 3 production trucks that go into producing it. Seems like they'd be better off with a 10 yard stick

 

Funny I'm actually going to bed now, have fun on this thread!

 

They need the chap from Bowls with the tape, the OCD, and the snooty look of a man who knows **** you don't know.

 

Nah, it should be brought on by the Chuckle Brothers "To me." "To You."

 

I will... Can't promise you we'll still be together when you wake up... I fully intend on sending #82 some "fan mail"