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The 'look who we nearly signed' Thread

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Jan 21, 2013.

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  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Bracing ourself for more transfer failure and the ensuing 'we just couldn't get the player over the line' crap I thought I'd create a light hearted thread to look at some potential excuses we may hear......

    I'll start the ball rolling....

    'We tried to sign Messi but he didn't like Newcastle Brown Ale.... the deal was almost over the line though'.

    'The Sissoko deal was almost over the line but someone showed him a picture of Sunderland and he thought it was Newcastle so chose to miss the Taxi picking him up from Redknapp's house'
     
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  2. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Ronaldo was about to sign but then he found out that Gazza wasn't still playing for us.
     
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  3. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Iniesta was going to sign until he heard that Gazza and Ronaldo weren't going to be playing for us.
     
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  4. G4rdToonArmy

    G4rdToonArmy Well-Known Member

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    We were going to sign Sissoko, Mbiwa, Haridira, Gorcuff, Remy, Hangeland and Augembaye but unfortunatley Mike was at the pie shop and we didnt have the card details to pay for any of the players.
     
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  5. leez

    leez Well-Known Member

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    mike tyson was on his way ..but then seen nile ranger ,and done a massive u turn cause he just thought he was to hard ..
     
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  6. Beardsley's Shimmy

    Beardsley's Shimmy Well-Known Member

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    Xavi was going to sign until he tried a Greggs pasty.
    So close to getting over the line.
     
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  7. Geordie lass in the Fen

    Geordie lass in the Fen Well-Known Member

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    We were going to sign Sissoko, Mbiwa, Haridira, Gorcuff, Remy, Hangeland and, we were almost over the line, but unfortunatley we couldn't find the line under all the snow.
     
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  8. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    We did sign Remy and he crossed the line - and for that very reason, we felt obliged to terminate his contract!
     
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  9. Xisco's Travelling Circus

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    We almost got the Fowler deal over the line, until Robbie snorted it.
     
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  10. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    We asked Pardew to tow the corporate line and now nobody knows where the hell it's gone! Therefore there will be no further (incoming) transfer activity in this window.
     
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  11. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    <laugh><laugh> .
     
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  12. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    What are you doing on line at this time? Your shift doesn't start for another 8 hours yet.
     
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  13. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    I thought they had to get SOMEBODY over the line and given recent performances in the transfer market, I thought it might have to be me!
     
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  14. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Fair enough, but it's not the kind of line you're thinking of. <whistle>
     
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  15. Prince Isak (GG)

    Prince Isak (GG) Well-Known Member

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    We nearly signed Lampard and it WAS over the line. (THAT ENGLAND GOAL) - but then it wasnt!

    We signed Owen.... But we couldnt get him over the line - TO PLAY!
     
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  16. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Just seen in SSN that were getting goal line technology in to help Pardew understand what IS over the line and what ISN'T.
     
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  17. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Also note that the BBC are reporting that the Trading Standards team are about to do an audit at SJP as Pardew is under investigation after claiming Taylor, Raylor, HBA and Cabaye are 'like new signings'..... the case continues....
     
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  18. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Several players almost crossed the line, mostly over the clause about Pardew getting dibs on their partners...
     
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  19. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    please log in to view this image
     
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  20. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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