That extremely macho army guy in American Beauty had a wife and kids, and he turned out to be gay. If he's gay, then we can safely assume almost every man is gay.
However, Kevin Spacey turned out not to be gay. If he's straight, then can't we assume every guy is straight? And also a borderline ***** (though I'd obviously **** Mena Suvari)
Well we've got ourselves a little bit of a paradox. How could that have happened with such flawless logic? (Also, yeah Mena Suvari, damn).
I think we've established that married or not, it's still basically a 50/50 toss up as to whether you're straight or not. (What about Thora Birch?)
Maybe we're all both gay and straight at the same time. Schrodinger's sexually-ambiguous cat. (Thora would get it, but not as hard as Mena.)
The things kids say these days. I blame television. When I was your age, I just played Pokemon and went out on my skateboard.
Yeah I'm sure it says tons about my liking for Pokemon and skateboarding when I was 8. Then again who didn't like those things back then? They were all the rage.
Pretty young on the grand scale of things, but I must seem ancient to you! The time will fly by though, mark my words. In no time you'll have hair growing in strange places and you'll start having funny feelings about girls. But don't worry, it's all normal.
I don't want to ruin everyones fun but if l could go back on topic for a minute. I always thought that yes a premiership footballer would have to be very brave to come out but could also end up very rich too. If you think that by law of averages there must be gay footballers then it must mean there are millions of gay fans too. Beckham already makes millions of " pink pounds " through marketing and advertising, imagine how much an officially "out" footballer would make. Especially bearing in mind that most gay man are DINKIES ( double income no kids).
Not sure it would necessarily work if you were, say, Martin Keown or Steve Bruce, though. And didn't work for Justin Fashanu. I also don't think it's true that players will accept a gay player amongst their ranks. They are no more enlightened than the average fan, so a subset will have the same mentality. Won't want to take showers together after the game, all the usual kind of crap. A gay player will have already been able to gauge the feeling in the dressing room anyway before making his decision. And that risks destabilising team morale, may harm on-pitch performance, and the gay player may fear that he will get moved on to a different club as a result etc. And then concerns about what club would want to sign him, as it would come with attendant fan and player controversy. Bet more than one player has the mentality of 'if he plays for us, I'm handing in a transfer request'. So a prospective manager will know he has to manage that side of things. You'd have to be a very special player indeed to warrant a manager being willing to take that on, before even considering the ammunition you're giving opposition crowds. Probably just feel a quieter life is preferable, given that there is no guarantee of riches. It shouldn't be that way, but I can see why gay players don't come out - though they undoubtedly should, as in numbers, they probably are quite a sizeable group, and they would be able to normalise it quite quickly. And if it gets neanderthal fans out of the grounds, all the more power to it. I think the real gain to the first 'out' player is the legacy and symbolic value involved - his name will be remembered, and he will likely find himself involved in the political side of the game for years to come - eg. players' unions, shaping future strategies etc.
