The room 101 thread

Jamie Carraghers voice

 

I REALLY do like your style JPF. Send me your CV, I'll sort you out with a job.

 

Harry Redknapp

 

Sith Lords

 

The dark side

 

In no particular order:

RVP
'Reality TV' programmes
Nigel DeJong
Jamie Carragher's voice
Mackems (OK, go on then, keep Mackems out of room 101 as it would be less fun without them)
Sith Lords
Mark Lawrenson
Taxes
Toon players getting injured
Sith Lords
Michael Owen
'Lifelong' Chelski/Citeh fans (who didn't even know which colours they played in uitil the last 3-5 years or so)
SSN reporters / SSN 'sources'
Sith Lords
Mackems who are Sith Lords

 

You missed sith lords off

 

Silly me, SITH LORDS!

 

Right, the things that ruined our beautiful game:

Diving
Play acting / feigning injury
Diving
Refs dishing out yellow/red cards for 'nothing'
Diving
Players trying to get other players carded (especially the waving of the imaginary card to the ref)
Diving
Shirt pulling
Diving
Time wasting (especially taking the ball to the corner flag for 5 minutes)
Diving
Sith Lords Diving

 

People who shout "shoot" as soon as we have possession.

People who drink on match days with weak bladders. Usually late for the game so its 'stand up' to let them past. 30 minutes in, 'stand up' its time for their wazz, half time they're late back again, 60 mins are toon making a sub? No its Pissy Pete off to the bogs again.

Car drivers who insist on driving up my rear end in the dark with headlights on full beam.

Any form of advert for the Halifax Building Society.

Call Centres in Mumbai.

Car Insurance companies who assume come renewal time I'll just be lazy and renew with them, so hike the premium. Whatever happened to rewarding loyalty?

X Factor and anyone involved with it

Airline food.

Lack of legroom on airlines. Worst ever - Thomas Cook. Bastards.

Al Gore's 'We Are Responsible for Global Warming" tosh.

 

an explanation for this who are confused.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Room_101

 

This. I experienced this today.. was calling about some HP Printer issues, couldn't get what the Indian lady was trying to tell me about cartridges and region settings....

 

'Plakka mags' from Horden, Peterlee, Easington et al who started supporting you lot post the great sky sports promotion of 1992. However, for those that started supporting the mags in the Bobby Shinton 7,000 crowds era I have no criticism.

 

People who eat sandwiches and pasties while walking.
Talking on mobile phones in shops and restaurant's they always seem to shout so you can hear.
People who stand in door ways.
Motorist who when it says 20 do 15 and 30 and do 20 stick to the speed limit.

 

Room 102....

 

Oh yes......one legged men at arse kicking parties.

They add nothing to the atmosphere.

 

I have many, but for now (cause I've just started working part-time at Starbucks while I wait for my MA results) its all work related...

1) People who pause while placing their order, then when I say "Is that everything?" say: "Did you forget the blueberry muffin" ... No, no I didn't, in order to forget I must previously have known that you wanted a blueberry muffin. Did you mention it, did you ambiguously allude to it, did you engage in an adlib game of charades, conspicuously gesticulating your desire for a blueberry muffin, did you even glance at that ****ing blueberry muffin for more than 2 seconds on your way past the pastry case? NO...NO you didn't..."Sorry about that, just the one muffin for you there?"

2) Customers who KNOW what they want (except they don't know what they want) It was my 2nd ever shift and a woman insisted, INSISTED that she have the smallest possible cappuccino, I explained that our smallest size is a short, though this is generally given to children and we would recommend a Tall. Well **** that Tall, she was sticking it to the consumer man and she was taking no prisoners on the way - "I said I wanted the smallest size, why would you give me anything other than the smallest one." - Not my money, not my order, not my problem "that's absolutely fine, If you'd like to make your way to the end of the bar, Mike will make your drink up right away", I wrote the ticket and handed off the cup to my supervisor, immediately he asked "are you sure she didn't want a tall?" - I explained and he made the drink anyway...Now, as some of you may know, a cappuccino is generally between 40%-50% foam, it means there is less milk diluting the espresso shot and so you get a stronger flavour - this also meant that only half of this woman's small drink was actual liquid. But its OK, she wouldn't complain about it, she had INSISTED that she have a Short, she had belittled my intelligence when suggesting that she may prefer a larger size, she knew what she wanted and she was gunna get it or else, she would never ignore all this and kick up a fuss...No, she did complain, she complained and told us that she was never coming back because our customer service was terrible and our drink portions were a joke..."OK, have a nice day."

3) People who complain about queues. Some days we'll only have 2 staff members running the whole shop. That means 2 people to take orders at the till, take orders at the drive through, make hot food, make hot drinks, make iced drinks, restock fridges, clear and clean tables, clean dirty dishes and mugs and restock everything from coffee beans to plastic lids. If you have 5 customers in store and 5 cars in the drive through, with each customer wanting hot food and a mixture of hot and cold drinks, you can imagine its fairly hectic. So, when you can quite clearly see a queue in front of you, you can quite clearly see two, very stressed, very put upon people working as fast and efficiently as they possibly can, who are still trying to be polite and apologise for your wait, TAKE A ****ING SECOND AND THINK before saying "Well this is disgraceful, I've been waiting for 15 minutes (despite us knowing this is untrue as we have timers on screen that tell us waiting times)."

4) People who think because I work in a cafe, I'm automatically stupid. The amount of people who have talked down to me is ridiculous. The majority of them are 'lady of leisure' women who've not worked a day since they managed to convince their semi-wealthy husband to impregnate them. I'd ****ing LOVE to ask them about their opinion on the budget cuts, on redistribution of wealth, on whether or not they feel sticking with the EU will be a stronger option in the long run of Britain's failing economy, on the social impact that benefit cuts will have and whether they think we will see a parallel rise in crime figures...Then simply raise my middle finger on one hand and point to the door with the other when they **** their unnecessarily expensive underwear and fail to respond!

I have many more, but that felt good for now!

 

Wow I can't believe this...2 people to man drive through + the store? If that's as you said on such a busy day, then something is wrong there......

Btw I can understand too, those ladies you mentioned... Especially the one who insisted she wanted the smallest and then complain To tell you the truth I might've told her off saying she insisted it. Needless to say I would've gotten into an argument and that's probably one of the reasons I can't work these part time jobs at all... I'm known to have a black face(no, I'm not black) when unhappy so it would really show up lol.

And your bit bout the muffin was funny, but generally don't take that kind of comments to heart haha... its partly for their ego the way they say it too

 

Made me laugh this - I feel your pain. At least it gives you some good stories eh?

 

best of luck with the MA JWAG. Be sure to let us know how you did.