Diary of Gabriel Obertan (aged 23 and 3/5ths)

Monday 24th September 2012


Late getting to the training ground today. I was stuck on the inside lane of the dual carriageway. Could have just sped up and passed traffic but I didn’t feel safe doing so.

Went to an all you can eat buffet afterwards. Benny nipped in and out the queue picking up everything he wanted but I played it safe and stayed in the queue. Missed out on the spring rolls. Again.

Tuesday 25th September 2012


Went to training this morning. I saw Jonas heading towards the last exercise bike. I could have beaten him to it but let him have it.

Boss told me he wants me to be more assertive and get past other players. I told him I’d try. I’ll get the exercise bike!

Went to Nando’s afterwards. I decided to be more assertive and told them what I wanted straight away. The traffic warden told me I couldn’t park my car on double yellows outside the restaurant.

Wednesday 26th September 2012


Boss told me that he was going to play me today. I told him I was going to be assertive just like he asked.

At Old Trafford and in the changing room, Carver told me to get past players with my pace. I ran out onto the pitch first.

Getting the hang of this assertiveness now.

 

Is this straight from the horses mouth Jim or are you just making it up?

 

I approve this message

 

The Daily Mail would be carry this in a heartbeat

 

Have you seen the Daily Fail today? He hasn't copied it from there has he?

 

Not quite copied from the Daily Mail, but a much more reputable source.

 

Adrian Mole?

 

overseasTOON

 

Don't think oT has paid us a visit in quite a while.

 

probably because he's abroad

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Could have said overseas, you missed a chance there!

 

That was the joke yes. I was going to use overseas, but i decided a synonym would be better

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