People who come up to you in the street for money or cigarettes and say "yo bruv can you lend me a *** or a fiver". Lend - like the scrounging **** is ever going to give it back - and like I'd be his bruv his mate or someone who would even acknowledge his existence under any other circumstances.
To be fair I often do make things up so don't mind people asking that question. e.g "why are there so many policemen across the road darling?" "Apparently old Mrs Johnson was spotted over in the park buggering a badger with a strap on dildo"........
A guy said to me the other day "Can you help me out mate?". I said "Sure, which way did you come in?"
And the guys that say "you got 10p for a cup of tea mate?" Aye heres 20p get me one as well Where are these ****ers getting 10p cups of tea
People who say "I'm good". Example: ME - You alright mate/love [select according to gender]? OTHER - Yeah, I'm good, thanks. How are you? It should be: ME: You alright mate/love? OTHER: Yeah I'm alright, you alright?
"I'm not being funny but...." Well I knew that you stupid ****er because you haven't made anyone laugh since you lost your arm in a cement mixer.