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The Sick Joke Thread (not for the easily offended)

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Geordie Gashead, Feb 11, 2011.

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  1. HOADIE_BOI

    HOADIE_BOI Well-Known Member

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    Some great jokes here.
    Il find some for you.
     
    #21
  2. ThrillerinAsprilla

    ThrillerinAsprilla Active Member

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    Some how i doubt that....
     
    #22
  3. HOADIE_BOI

    HOADIE_BOI Well-Known Member

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    Here is some jokes

    i came in from work today to find my wife in bed with a foreign man

    he literally didn't know what to say
    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    BBC NEWS: WORLDS OLDEST MAN DIES AT 114

    He was just asking for trouble doing that speed.
    ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    I'm selling a stalking kit on eBay,

    It's got six people watching it...
     
    #23
  4. HOADIE_BOI

    HOADIE_BOI Well-Known Member

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    There is a few which are ok, Only ok but funny.
     
    #24
  5. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    Might I suggest advertising that on the Sexy Poll?
     
    #25
  6. HOADIE_BOI

    HOADIE_BOI Well-Known Member

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    lol
     
    #26
  7. Amnesiac

    Amnesiac Guest

    If God doesn't need a woman's consent to get her pregnant, why the **** should I?.... Your Honour.
     
    #27
  8. HOADIE_BOI

    HOADIE_BOI Well-Known Member

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    Good one.
     
    #28
  9. Shearer Cort Given Dyer Speed

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    My mate found out last night that he's both dyslexic and gay.

    He's still in Daniel
     
    #29
  10. What's the difference between a Mackem lass and a bowling bowl?

    Nothing.

    Both go down an alley and get fingered every night.
     
    #30

  11. HOADIE_BOI

    HOADIE_BOI Well-Known Member

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    LOL mate sick joke, REP'D
     
    #31
  12. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    That's a belter!
     
    #32
  13. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    Bloke and his missus getting ready to go to a fancy dress party.

    The bloke's ready, dressed up as a pirate and shouts up the stairs " Hurry up woman, we're already 20 minutes late "

    She shouts back " I've got nothing to wear, I don't know what to go as "

    He runs up stairs, go's into the bedroom and she's sitting on the bed, all 20 stone of her, naked,sobbing her eyes out.

    He says " Why not pull your piss flaps over your head and go as a sugar puff "
     
    #33
  14. HOADIE_BOI

    HOADIE_BOI Well-Known Member

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    lol
     
    #34
  15. Hatem Is A Geordie

    Hatem Is A Geordie Active Member

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    Some of them are top class! <laugh><laugh>
     
    #35
  16. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, turning to religion I was soon able to come to terms with it.

    I converted to Islam and we're stoning the cheating bitch in the morning.
     
    #36
  17. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    Posted it before

    guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."

    None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix.

    The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.

    "Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off
     
    #37
  18. TheLittleGeordie

    TheLittleGeordie Active Member

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    ahah brilliant this thread is back
    now prepare for some seriously sick jokes

    For me ****ings like a big meal, when i cant finish off i just think of all those starving Ethiopian children


    I hate predictive text i just sent my nan a message saying i want to cum on her face
    took me ages to write but i got there eventually
     
    #38
  19. Amnesiac

    Amnesiac Guest

    Said this one before somewhere but hey ho.

    What's the one thing Google can't find?
    Madeline Mccan
     
    #39
  20. Ricardo Izec5on dos Santos Le1te

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