Let's laugh at Arsenal (again)!

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Hoddle is a god

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I've been browsing the Gooner board, and I (once again) feel constrained to share with you some of their pain, and the hilarity that it raises.

Enjoy!



First up:-

You’ve got to read this, it’s ****ing hilarious!

http://www.arsenalnews.co.uk/my-open-letter-to-robin-van-persie/link/646487/


I very nearly pissed in my pants towards the end.

Do you think any of us would be as pathetic as that Gooner, if Moddy left? I would hope not.




EmirAleks said:
It is rumored that ManCity are ready to offer a £45 ml package for RVP. This is £20 ml transfer fee and another £25 ml will be his something like £220K per week salary. If he says "financial term are not my priority", then why would'n he agree to a very decent salary rise to £110K per week and let his beloved Arsenal get £37 ml transfer fee? It will be the same £45 ml package. Everyone would he happy. Robin? We will love you again! No? Why not? Hey Robin, mate, wait a minute.. talk to meee…
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<doh>

Because, you asshole, he’s already agreed a deal with £ity. In fact, it was probably done on the phone with Mancini months ago. Why would he want to line your greedy octogenarian board’s pockets with money when he can get a much higher signing-on fee by forcing you Gooners to sell him to £ity on the cheap? You really don’t get it, do you!




suker_suker said:
...it will hurt more than Nasri last year. I can almost see it now: RVP smashing in the goals week in week out and being the toast of MOTD. Oh God, it's almost too dreadful to think about.
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<laugh> Superb!



Then, I came across this rather bizarre string of posts on one particular thread:-


GoonerRVP said:
Would be funny if he did an Adebayor against us… maybe he could do it as a double act with Nasri <laugh>
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This bloke has got to be a Spurs fan posing as a Gooner!


Arsenal87 said:
imagine RVP scores against us, then him and Nasri and Clichy all join hands running towards the Arsenal fans, remember like how Henry and Pires celebrated with each other in the Champions League against Celta Vigo I believe it was, when they joined hands raised. Heck, even add Adebayor too, he's still a City player. And then Adebayor starts doing his dance and they all start dancing too.
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Jesus! They’re all at it, now!


omogooner said:
Add Viera as well, he jumps onto the pitch from the stands and starts laughing at the Arsenal fans! That would be very comical.
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This is getting ridiculous! Are there any actual real Gooners on that board, or are they all ringers?
 
In the event that RVP goes to £ity, and then go on to win the title again, do you think that Gooners will claim half the glory, given that half their team will actually be playing for £ity?
 
The gooners are doing what we all do when a good player leaves - claiming he's not actually that good to save a bit of face and somehow try to convince yourself everything's gonna be alright despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

When Luka was originally on his way last year, Spurs fan: "we can live without him, he's good but doesn't dominate the big games or score enough goals". Reality: He's a quality player who always has time & space and plays the intelligent pass. Having such a player contributes massively to our possession style of play (rather than countering or utilising set pieces). Losing him will be like losing Carrick again - another player who was comfy on the ball yet got criticised for not scoring enough and then was missed enormously until modders arrived.

RVP announces he's leaving. Gooner: "he's been with us 8 years and had 2 good seasons, it'll stop us being dependent on one man, he used to be injury prone - we should cash in on a 29 year old". Reality: the Persie situation is indicative of an on going problem at arsenal where they have the potential to be a 'super club' but are more interested in balancing the books, which has caused them to fall behind other clubs such as city, Chelsea & utd and allowed spurs to become their closest rivals in the league when once the gap was enormous. This lack of ambition and mismanagement of player contracts is allowing their squad to be diminished year on year and wenger seems to have lost his ability to unearth the same sort of gold as replacements. RVP carried arsenal to 3rd place on his back last year and the cold hard fact is you just cannot repeatedly let players of his quality leave without it having a long term affect on your ability to compete - arsenal are very slowly going backwards.
 
I think I'll reserve my laughing at the Gooners until we actually finish a season in front of the ****ers! Hopefully, this next one!!..
 
NowsufferinginSpain said:
I think I'll reserve my laughing at the Gooners until we actually finish a season in front of the ****ers! Hopefully, this next one!!..
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That's the wrong attitude pal. You could be waiting forever, you could get hit by a bus and never get the chance. You have to pick your moments - just coz they're more successful than us doesn't mean we have no right to laugh when they falter - my mate has a better job than me but I laughed like a drain when he ruptured a testicle playing footy and nearly laughed myself to death when I found out he had virtually insurmountable gambling debts. Revelling in the misfortune of others is one of life's truly great pleasures - I once saw a midget fall down the escalator in the Liberty 2 at Romford - it ranks in the top 10 moments of my life. Their best player is leaving, hurr hurr hurr. Enjoy it, savour it, revel in it.
 
NowsufferinginSpain said:
I think I'll reserve my laughing at the Gooners until we actually finish a season in front of the ****ers! Hopefully, this next one!!..
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<laugh>

I'm always struck by the arrogance of the Spurs fans before every beginning of a season since about Spurs' 5th place finish under Jol. Every season since then the Spurs supposed "ascendancy" and Arsenal's demise would mean you'd pass us "next" season, but how long has it been since then, 7 years now? And how many more years from that since you actually did finish above us? (what i gather from this board to be the pinnacle of your club's achievement <laugh>)

I do enjoy HIAG's monologues though, you just know there's sig material in there a few months down the line.
 
Yes 'gent' (if indeed that is your real name), in those 7 years we've had 3 5th places and two 4ths, arsenal have had a series of either 3rds or 4ths. Such is your decline in the last seven years that the only thing you have to crow about is the fact you've been finishing a few points above us - bit humiliating for the supposed mighty arsenal isn't it? Lest we firget that we have also won the league cup in that time - Mickey Mouse it may be, but it's still one trophy more than you son. Now run along, you've got Sunday school tomorrow morning you little rascal you.
 
gent said:
<laugh>

I'm always struck by the arrogance of the Spurs fans before every beginning of a season since about Spurs' 5th place finish under Jol. Every season since then the Spurs supposed "ascendancy" and Arsenal's demise would mean you'd pass us "next" season, but how long has it been since then, 7 years now? And how many more years from that since you actually did finish above us? (what i gather from this board to be the pinnacle of your club's achievement <laugh>)

I do enjoy HIAG's monologues though, you just know there's sig material in there a few months down the line.
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This coming from a club whose biggest day of the year is reserved for when you have officially finished above us in the league, such is your lack of real achievements in recent years.
 
Here's a fun game, count how many times Arsenal fans say "he's only had one good season"


Someone should set up a game of fans quote bingo, Wenger in/ Wenger out/ RVP is toss/ etc etc
 
gent said:
<laugh>

I'm always struck by the arrogance of the Spurs fans before every beginning of a season since about Spurs' 5th place finish under Jol. Every season since then the Spurs supposed "ascendancy" and Arsenal's demise would mean you'd pass us "next" season, but how long has it been since then, 7 years now? And how many more years from that since you actually did finish above us? (what i gather from this board to be the pinnacle of your club's achievement <laugh>)

I do enjoy HIAG's monologues though, you just know there's sig material in there a few months down the line.
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We have to start somewhere. As we're local rivals, finishing in front of you will do nicely to start with. We should, and would have done last season, if it weren't for all this "Harry for England" bollocks. Of course our ambition goes beyond that, and I think we now have the squad to go beyond that. So yeah, watch out next season Gooner boy. We're coming to get you!
 
Monsoon said:
That's the wrong attitude pal. You could be waiting forever, you could get hit by a bus and never get the chance. You have to pick your moments - just coz they're more successful than us doesn't mean we have no right to laugh when they falter - my mate has a better job than me but I laughed like a drain when he ruptured a testicle playing footy and nearly laughed myself to death when I found out he had virtually insurmountable gambling debts. Revelling in the misfortune of others is one of life's truly great pleasures - I once saw a midget fall down the escalator in the Liberty 2 at Romford - it ranks in the top 10 moments of my life. Their best player is leaving, hurr hurr hurr. Enjoy it, savour it, revel in it.
Click to expand...


Son, I'm old enough to remember when we were normally the superior side. It's really just the last 15 years ( oh ****! Is it REALLY that long??) that they've been lording it over us. We've had very little to laugh about since. So yeah, I'll reserve my laughs for when we're back where we belong - on top of those ****ers!.
Your mates must love you, by the way. Schadenfreude usually comes back to bite you on the arse - so be careful!
 
Wandering Yid said:
This coming from a club whose biggest day of the year is reserved for when you have officially finished above us in the league, such is your lack of real achievements in recent years.
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That day wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable if not for the delusions of grandeur displayed by Spurs fans every beginning of a season.

For us a step up from previous seasons is winning trophies. For you a step up is finishing above us, and you can see that 'ambition' reflected in all the posts here about your future. Funny post though, yours, if it had no hint of sarcasm. (some Spurs fan didn't feel funny calling Arsenal "PL also-rans" so I can't ****ing tell anymore <laugh>)
 
"Arsene Wenger insists he will never change the way he operates at Arsenal - even if his star players keep leaving."

(Source: The Sun)



This must be music to the ears of Gooners everywhere.

NOT!
 
gent said:
For you a step up is finishing above us...
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Wrong. Finishing above you would be sweet, as it has been for you, these past 15 years, but it is not an end in itself. Our first long-term aim was to crash the old Sky "Top 4" party, which we did, as 'Pool has not only been deposed, but now looks a former shadow of what it used to be. Yes, I had hoped that it would be AFC that crashed and burned, but 'Pool will do for now. Our next goal is to get a regular top 4 slot, and that is a project that, by any standards, is coming along nicely for us. Our final goal has to be to either (a) win the CL or the EPL, and whilst I am not going to pretend that we are anywhere near doing that just yet, anyone who says that it will never happen it a fool, and not worth arguing with. Of course it could happen!

But, anyway, you know all of this, and you are acting obtuse on purpose as part of your general wummery.

One thing, however, that you really cannot laugh off is the simple fact that had it not been for RVP's unexplained and outstanding form last season, AFC would have finished well outside the top 8, and we would have walked 3rd spot. I wouldn't go so far as to claim that you were a one-man team, but it is certainly the case that RVP was the difference between your finishing 9th and finishing 3rd. He will not be playing for you next season; and whilst you have two decent new strikers arriving at the club, the chances that they, between them, will be able to emulate the miracles that RVP pulled off for you is extremely remote. You will be far less formidable next season, not just to us but to every other team in the EPL, including those that have been newly promoted. I would actually go as far as to say that 'Pool probably has a better team than you do right now, and I cannot see 'Pool finishing any higher than 7th.
 
Arsenal are a feeder club to europes elite. They don't have the ambition to become part of that elite even though the reputation & infrastructure are already there. They are now like us - second tier and regularly losing their best players to bigger clubs. Like us, without serious investment they are destined to be fighting it out for a top 4 position each year and no more. If any arsenal fan wants to laud the fact they finished a point ahead of us that's fine, but it's only a crumb of comfort to them to mask the fact they have declined the last 5 years and we have improved, and now there isn't really anything between the two sides.
 
Gent, you talk like both clubs have an equal footing. Sorry to burst your bubble, but with the resources you've had at your disposal compared to ours over the years, the fact Spurs have edged closer to you year on year seems to have escaped your attention. Arsenal should be capable of keeping some distance ahead, but due to chronic mismanagement you've allowed your little ol neighbours to creep up on you. Everyone knows how you ended up just the 1 point ahead of us over the course of the last season, and you can mock the 10point loss during it...how about telling me the last time we had one over you in the first place? You were 8 ahead of us and nearly monumentally ****ed that up, needing the worst goal keeping performance in the history of the PL to keep your sorry one point advantage. If that is some measure of success in your book, good luck with it.
 
Monsoon said:
[AFC] are now like us - second tier and regularly losing their best players to bigger clubs...
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If you take out the moves of Berbatov and Carrick to United - for whom we received top dollar, and the traitorous defection of Judas for £nil (which is something that vary rarely happens across top flight football, anyway), then we are no one's feeder club. Quite the opposite, in fact; we have taken far more players off other clubs that those clubs would rather have kept.

Arsenal, however, has always been a selling club.
 
I'm beginning to feel sorry for Ci£eh, their feeder club will soon be bereft of talent. Where are their future signings come from? Will their fall from grace mirror those of l'arse?
 
notsosmartspur said:
Gent, you talk like both clubs have an equal footing. Sorry to burst your bubble, but with the resources you've had at your disposal compared to ours over the years, the fact Spurs have edged closer to you year on year seems to have escaped your attention.
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Could you elaborate on how we've had more resources than you guys since the Martin Jol days? You've actually outspent us in the transfer market in most of those years.
 
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