I just don't like the way Spain play...The passing game they play I find boring and negative and I would have much rather have seen Germany win it, but with them being out, Italy will have to do..
Haven't watched a single Euro match. International football is weird Will watch Sourcecode tonight instead of the final.
Rangers becomes a pub team SCOTTISH football chiefs are forcing Rangers to start again as a pub team following their financial difficulties. Rangers will relocate to a flat-roofed council estate boozer as their new base of operations, and recruit players from the local tower blocks by enticing them out of the stairwells with a football covered in smack. Early scouting trips have uncovered a promising 19-year-old who will train for eight hours at a time and is equipped with a ferociously tenacious tackle so long as he’s given a bottle of Buckfast and a tube of Uhu at the end of the day. SFA spokesman Tom Logan said: “This could be a fresh new start for the club – if it turns out they have a better quiz team than their football side that could be the direction they end up heading in. “Given that most of the kids in Glasgow University are called things like Tara and Gideon rather than Janey or Wee ****a that’s doubtful but, y’know, dare to dream.” Rangers’ new pub, The Red Hand & Luther, was bought with the proceeds of selling off Ibrox to a consortium of Celtic fans who intend to turn it into the world’s largest urinal. The pub’s manager, Bampot, will take control of the club’s day to day affairs after ousting Ally McCoist with the help of a pool cue. Their first fixture of the new season will be against The Pope’s Head, a rival pub located 50 feet from their new home across a stretch of road the United Nations have deemed the most dangerous piece of tarmac outside of Afghanistan. Logan added: “Rangers could soon be back amongst the big names of Scottish football provided they get themselves a really good physio and some comprehensive fire insurance.”
Spain show boring inability to be rubbish EURO 2012 winners Spain have come under more fire for showing a reluctance to mix things up by being bad at football. After winning their third tournament in a row, the sideâs brand of possession trophy-keeping has had pundits longing for the more traditional style of 11 people who have no idea what they are doing. Footballologist Wayne Hayes said: âSpain have put FIFA12 onto âBeginnerâ mode, theyâve selected Carlisle as their opposition and theyâve chosen to play as, well, Spain. Yawn. âTheyâve done this by tediously investing in a long-term strategy of training youth players to focus on technique, ball control and teamwork. Well, anybody could do that, couldnât they? Obviously England wonât because itâs much more interesting for the fans to watch a constant procession of grinding mediocrity.â He added: âSpain were only able to score a succession of brilliantly crafted goals because Italy got so bored they just nodded off.â Meanwhile, the defeated finalists will come to terms with their loss by sitting in stunning hillside villas staring wistfully across a sunkissed landscape, the Italian FA has confirmed. The side were heavily beaten by a Spanish team that will take their winnerâs medals home to a land of equally breathtaking beauty but with slightly inferior cheese, much to the consolation of the Italians. Manager Cesare Prandelli said: âIt was always hard for the lads, coming into the final as beautifully-chiselled, stylish and wealthy underdogs but I think by the World Cup theyâll come back stronger, better and more irresistibly handsome.â The conclusion of Euro 2012 means television schedules may now dip below the danger level of 90% sport, leaving desperate viewers with just Wimbledon, Formula 1, the Tour de France and 24-hour cricket. Experts have urged the public to go to their local park and video themselves playing badminton until the beginning of the Olympic cycling events.
