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Cornwall

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by Doc, Jun 26, 2012.

  1. Doc

    Doc Well-Known Member

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    Can’t believe how garbage the weather is down in Cornwall, you wouldn’t believe it’s almost July. Never mind it’s always great to get away, especially when invited to stay with mates, so a freebie holiday really. A bit cloudy today but me and Neil are in his back garden wearing shorts and just about to light the barbi, and will have a kick about whilst it heats up. He’s a tightarse with the drinks though, as he’s only got dinky bottles. Nice spot though he has down here, no wonder he likes to get down from time to time.

    Last night over a few beers we were shooting the breeze about the championship this season, Grayson, Bates and thatdickhead Harvey. Neil’s good fun when he’s had a few and doesn’t mind spilling the beans. He even had a call from his old mate Giani Paladini who was still trying to do the Forest deal for the Kuwaiti geezer, and he expected Neil to drop Leeds and go to the trees. He’s also had the otherdick on the phone constantly from the YEP and is telling him nothing. He said he does all his work from scouring posts on twatter/facefook, rather than get offhisarse.

    Anyway a bit gossip for you all; firstly there’s no truth in the rumour that Joey Barton is on his way, as he thinks he’s a fookin nutter. Bates is a bentbastard but Warnock thinks he’s put him into a corner and left him no options but to back him. The story from Lust about players being unhappy was done by Neil himself when he and his missus got leathered, just to light a couple of fires. The takeover is nothing but the people from Lurpak coming back and wanted to rename the stand again, but the skip company are offering £20 more. Bates and Co own most of ER and TA, but they will be selling TA shortly after they’ve bought an old farm that can be converted to training pitches for the kids. The deal will net Bates and mates millions as a property developer builds apartments, and build expensive 5 bedroomed houses on the site. The crown prince of Monaco who heads up the Garibaldi family, is now a major shareholder at Leeds, and he has a plan to make Beeston into a principality & tax haven, and build casino’s. ken and he are big mates as both families like swinging. Bates told Warnock that Grayson was caught sucking AOB in the showers, and that’s the real reason for the big fall out. Harvey has a nickname that Bates uses all the time, pen1s and the only truth that’s ever left his mouth. Lorimer wanted to put a few quid into the club but was laughed at by Bates, as he told him he’d be lucky to have enough money to get a taxi back to Morley.

    Leeds Utd and Club Monaco are joining forces and will be swapping kids and doing deals on loans. All Leeds players will be going self employed and invoicing the club monthly, and will have their pay put into offshore accounts tax free. This means that Lees £4k pwk will be still £4kpwk going into his bank, which means he’s now on 4 times what he was on from last season. Snodds will be earning as much as top prem players under this new scheme and ken sees it as a win-win as he pays low wages which turn out to be top wages as no tax is paid.

    Anyway guys the burgers are nearly done, and Neils on a roll. We’ll be back by the weekend and should have a bit of news for you all. It looks like the biggest deal he’s trying to do is swap Jordan Rhodes for Ross and an apartment at TA
     
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  2. Simon21-LUFC

    Simon21-LUFC Well-Known Member

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    Edited the title for you. <ok>
     
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  3. BillysStatue

    BillysStatue Well-Known Member

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    Best post for ages!!!!!!!! Awesome :)
     
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  4. Infidel

    Infidel Well-Known Member

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    Doc?....... i think you should go and see one and change your pills <laugh>
     
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  5. RodzUK

    RodzUK Member

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    Hey Doc ....... Ever thought about writing a Novel , looks like you got the plot right there Lol !!!
     
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  6. hullboywilson

    hullboywilson New Member

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    yer you get all inbreads living around there.did you pop in to callington.nice of neil to come back down for pre-season.
     
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  7. bucks_is_leeds

    bucks_is_leeds Jonny big spuds
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    <laugh> This is one of Docs more tame holiday stories I can assure you of that! <laugh>
     
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