OT - Do you believe in physical discipline on kids?

So I notice these days that a lot of people seem to look at any sort of physical discipline/punishment on kids as child abuse. If a kid is screaming and demanding sweets in a supermarket, and their mother or father smacks it's bottom, some people would probably call NSPCC or the police to get the kid taken away from it's "abusive parents".

I think hitting a child because you're angry or upset is child abuse, because you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. But in my opinion, if you're trying to discipline your kids and make sure they don't turn into an inconsiderate, ungrateful little **** when it gets older, then I agree with it, as long as it isn't over the top like punching or kicking it, or something that will likely leave a bruise.

I'm not saying that you should always use physical punishment, and it's again child abuse if you can't be arsed to discipline your kids properly, and just give it a smack out of laziness to shut it up. Smacking your kids bottom isn't always the right way to deal with it. But sometimes it can be necessary and effective.

What I really hate is these self obsessed tossers, who are parents, and they managed to discipline their kids without having to resort to physical punishment, and now think they are model parents, and are so far up their own arseholes that they think they have the right to go around telling everyone who's given their kid a clip round the ear that they're bad parents. They'll say something like this - "if you just talked to your kids, you'd see there's no need to be violent and abusive, we did it, so can you. Learn to be proper parents".

Kids aren't programmable devices, and the same sort of parenting wont work on every child. Every kid is different, and some need discipline more than others, and sometimes a clip round the ear is necessary if it gets through to them, and as long as a parent is doing it for the good of the child, then it's not child abuse.

 

No I dont but I'm not taking the morale high ground against parents who do.
Being a parent is a hard job and getting the balance right can be very hard.

 

I do. Look at all the scum on the streets today and the reason is that they have had no real discipline. Kids used to respect their elders and generally behave when the local bobby could give them a clip around the ear.
I remember teachers using the cane and the slipper and boy, you didnt argue with them. Nowadays... Well, lets just say I know a teacher who is actually being bullied by a group of thugs and is powerless.

Society is broken and lack of discipline is one of the causes I'm afraid.

 

I agree, and I hate how kids are so protected nowadays that you just have to take their **** and you can do nothing.

I agree that you should get a harsher punishment for beating the living **** out of a kid than you would if you did it to an adult, but if the kid is threatening you, you should be able to use the same physical force against them to defend yourself.

It's the same with ladies.

If a lady behaves like a lady, I'll treat her like one, but as soon as she starts getting violent and abusive, and she's "man enough" to throw a punch, I'll give her one back.

 

I agree that a lot of children do not get the right guidance but in some cases that will not change.
I'm sure that most of us were brought up to respect our elder's and to say please and thank you but some weren't and nothing will change that.
Our teachers would throw chalk at us and we accepted it, if you were playing up in class you just got on with it. Parent's also accepted that children played up in class and needed discipline, now parents are on teacher's backs all the time.
As a parent you must discipline your children and not leave it it up to other people.

 

The problems start at home and not at school.

 

Very true but some parents can't be bothered and blame everyone but themselves when the children go off the rails.
When I was a kid we had a village bobby and we were scrared of him, not now.

 

Think respect would be a better word to use than scared.

 

Agree, and teachers and bobby's should have more power to 'correct' and upbringing inadequacies.

 

Here's some 'enjoy your Hols' rep.....

 

Let them get on with it and hope they don't kill anyone.

There are too many good doers in the world in high places and kids are running around stabbing each other for bread. I say a good beaten or the death penalty need bringing back.

 

If it worked, you'd only have to do it once. That said, I can see why some parents would turn to physical discipline as it's a very hard job.

 

I'm sorry, but I don't agree at all...Look at cases of physical assault (adults) I bet statistically, in the majority of those cases, the person committing the violence were 'physically disciplined' as a child. Violence begets violence!

and Tash "What I really hate is these self obsessed tossers, who are parents, and they managed to discipline their kids without having to resort to physical punishment, and now think they are model parents, and are so far up their own arseholes that they think they have the right to go around telling everyone who's given their kid a clip round the ear that they're bad parents."

What a crock of ****! I'm one of four, none of us were ever smacked, we've never been in trouble with the police and I've not been in a fight since I was at school. My Mam n Dad raised us without hitting us and as a result I'm going to raise my children the same way...The most ridiculous thing about what you just said there, is that you're calling people like my Parent's judgemental 'self obsessed tossers' - I'm fairly sure that's you inverting it and judging them for NOT hitting me!

People can do what they want with their own children, but to suggest that violence is a necessary tool is utterly ****ing ridiculous!

 

If you have a perfect home and money it's easier to discipline kids but in my world you need to dish out a good beating every now and then.

 

One of my best mate's came from a fairly 'humble' home...He now earns more than his parents combined and he's only a newly qualified physio. His mam used to smack him and he'd laugh at her when she tried to discipline him, his Dad has never laid a finger on him and he does whatever he says...I can't speak about your upbringing, but I still don't think you NEED to hit kids, regardless of your financial situation!

 

You got my comment all wrong. I never said all parents who managed to discipline their kids without physical punsihment are self obsessed tossers. But there are some parents out there that think that just because their way worked on their kids, means it can work on all kids, and anyone who gives their kid a clip round the ear is guilty of child abuse.

So you totally got me wrong on my comment. I don't hate people who raised their kids without physical discipline, I hate people who think they have the right to teach others how to raise their kids because they use different strategies than they do.

Violence and Physical discipline are two different things. It's like the people who say "It's wrong to hit your kids". Saying it like that makes it out to be totally different to what it is.

I never said once that it was necessary, but I don't know if you directing that towards me or ACS.

And I agree with your earlier comment to an extent about physical assault, however I refer back to the point that physical discipline is different to physical abuse. If there is a study to say it's mostly kids who were physically dealt with by their parents that assault people, then I'd bet that those kids were physically abused by their parents, rather than disciplined. There's a difference between getting angry and kicking the **** out of your kid, than spanking him/her when it's been bad to teach him/her a lesson. I don't think punching your kid in the face will teach him anything. But a clip on the leg or ear can be effective and not hurt the child that much.

I'm not suggesting that whenever you physically punish a kid, it has to hurt. It can just be a sharp reminder.

 

Have an assertive attitude towards the kids and it's enough in my book... Passiveness will lead to raising yourself a bit of a prick, aggressiveness on the other hand will leave the kid stripped of confidence and causes anxiety.

 

But a clip on the leg or ear can be effective and not hurt the child that much. Can't agree with this I'm afraid, if you must smack a kid it should be on the buttocks. And even then it isn't to hurt them but to let them know they've done wrong.

 

also never wet your hand first.

 

A kid needs to be shown a lot of love and shown the true qualities of life, and one of the best ways to do that is by not spoiling it with presents and giving it whatever it wants, therefore it wont turn into a greedy brat and be more grateful and appreciate things more in life.

I'm sick of seeing parents shoving a pasty in a kids face to keep it from screaming and crying in it's pram. I only ever screamed and kicked once in public, when I was 4, and I got a smack to the backside and no TV/Games for a week. I never did it again. But because my parents showed me love and gave me self belief, I was never low on confidence and I never had anxiety, I was always full of life as a young kid.

Love and Discipline are both key to raising a good kid. Also telling him/her not to cave into peer pressure and conforming, and also not to mix with the wrong kids helps. Sometimes the parents can't be blamed, and they've really tried hard to raise the kid, but he/she gets pushed into something about a group of mates.