Dear God.......I'm not usually a religious man but 33 years a Saint has taught me to seek help from wherever possible in times of need! Although it would be remiss of me to suggest Saints have the divine right to promotion, I hope like me you if you are a fan of the beautiful game you are also a believer in football karma. Reading have pipped us to the post fairly and squarely and i am sure you will agree at times, some of our players have been found wanting. West Ham have adopted a financially reckless approach of biblical proportions and sacrificed style and class for the almighty buck. Too many draws have hurt them as I am sure you remember they did for us under that flame haired angel WGS. I'm a firm believer that we weren't good enough to win the league, but we are better than the hammers. I can only assume that you have invited Saint Markus round to yours as the game is on the beeb... I hear you just missed out on the final 500 tickets on Tuesday morning... It's a shame your position in life couldn't move you through the dubious phone ticket system a bit quicker. Whatever the result against Coventry, please pass on all Saints fans regards to Saint Markus. 3 years ago, I feared we were doomed to spend an eternity in hell ( or the screw fix direct league under a slightly different name! ), but his blessing revived our club. I would like to think that you at least own a Saints duvet set and will be saying your own little prayer to help the Hull back 4 from about 12.30 on Saturday. Lastly, while I'm at it, it appears all is not right in the world for the blue few. As a karma fan, I believe they are where they belong in terms of league status, I just think the fans consortium needs to borrow from your collection plate to kick start a new era. A nasty bout of plague for chanrai et al wouldn't go down badly either! Top work big man, I hope to be joining you next year worshipping at the church of the PL... Amen
....you do realise that we are playing a side who has only won one of their twenty one away games this year, and scored only thirteen goals in the process, and are decimated by injuries and suspensions, and who we have already beaten twice in their own back yard twice BEFORE thay had all thier injury and suspension problems don't you? No need to call on any deity - this is one occasion when her attention will be elsewhere.
The perfect recipe for a slip up then if you get over confident and cocky. Never, ever under estimate the opposition. Football is 11 men against 11 men and if the outcome was a foregone conclusion the whole sport would be finished as entertainment. The prayer was very funny if a little sacrilegious but remember Jesus and his dad were carpenters so they will get on very well with Markus as they will have stories to tell each other about the construction industry and hopefully will therefore be rooting for us on Saturday. Personally I would like our players to win the match through skill and raw passion rather than divine intervention.
As a born again atheist, this post made me smile. Godders, you are king of satire and general tongue in cheek, so you should recognise this post for what it is! As for your serious point, Godders, you are quite right. They will have 11 players against us, but I hope that Nigel isn't going to go all Don Revie on us. Revie had dossiers on every player in every team. The problem was his team briefings too often terrified his own team so that they often froze when it mattered. Leeds should have won every trophy in sight between around 1966 and 1975 but often blew it. The Liverpool way was started under Shankly who once, allegedly, bought the players in on the eve of a big match, set out model players showing the two teams and then simply swept the opposition players aside. He looked at his players and growled "That's what you'll do tomorrow". They did. Liverpool dominated because they believed that every time they went out they'd win. In my view, player for player Leeds were a better team. But going out believing you can do it is always going to be better than worrying about the opposition. Nigel is almost a scouser and is a Reds fan. I'm sure he will have noted the approach of Shankly and Bob Paisley (who won a few things, in case no-one noticed, including more European Cups than Sir Alex, but was never honoured - strange).
I will accept divine intervention as long as we win, but, please God, don't make it too obvious. The ref might become suspicious if lightening took out more than one of their players and a flood that parts only to let Rickie and Billy through might raise a few eyebrows. Also the beachball on the pitch has been used before. Thanking you in advance on behalf of all the Saints
...people are too busy being worried old women and thinking that my certainty that coventry don't stand a chance will have any impact on a group of guys I have no contact with to have spotted that. People are so paranoid it is almost funny! Quite apart from our game - can you imagine what the atmosphere at upton park will be like if west ham haven't scored after 20 minutes?? If the past behaviour of the home fans is anything to go by, they'll probably start booing!
Normally I would let things take their natural course, but due to a strong religious conviction I have prostrate myself before the only true Deity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You see, I am a Pastafarian and I felt that it would be best if I beseeched His Noodliness to make sure that all goes well, not with the game on Saturday (I think we will be alright there) but rather with those lost souls who have been damned to an eternity of torture and obscurity at Fratton Park. For those who wish to know more about my faith, I have put the link below. Thanks for reading. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
Ouch! Wasn't this meant to be a light thread? Mind you, if you want to know why I describe myself as a born again atheist you've hit it!
If you haven't already checked out the link to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, please do. You will be amongst friends.
