Geordie lass goes to the doctors and says "Hev ya got any o' them contradictory pills?" Doctor asks "Contradictory pills? are you ignorant or something?" Geordie lass replies "Aye 6 weeks!"
Q: What's the difference between a Geordie lass and the Titanic? A: Only 1500 men went down on the Titanic. Q: What does a Geordie lass say after sex? A: Do you all play for the same team? Q: How does a Geordie lass turn on the light after sex? A: She opens the car door. Q: How do you know when a Geordie lass has an orgasm? A: She drops her pie. Q:What does a Geordie lass use for protection when having sex? A: A bus shelter. Q: What's the difference between a Geordie lass and an ironing board? A: You have trouble opening the legs on an ironing board. Q: What does a Geordie lass put behind her ears to make her more attractive to men? A: Her feet. Q: What do you call a Geordie lass and her mates in the middle of Lake Windermere? A: The Isle of Dogs. Q: Why does a Geordie lass only have short dinner breaks when working? A: To avoid re-training. Q: What's the difference between a Geordie lass and a sea monster? A: A sea monster doesn't put its phone number in your pocket after eating seaman. Q: Why is a Geordie lass like a washing machine? A: They both drip when they are f****d. Q: What's the difference between a Geordie lass and a Boeing 747? A: There's only one cockpit in a 747. Q: What does a Geordie lass do with her a*****ole before having sex? A: She takes him down the pub and gets him pissed. Q: What's the difference between aGeordie lass and a washing machine? A: You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for a week. Q: How many Geordie lass does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they only screw in cars. Q: What has a Geordie lass got in common with a cowpat? A: The older she gets, the easier she is to pick up. Q: What's the difference between a Geordie lass and a cream egg? A: It costs 32p to lick out a cream egg. Q: What's the difference between a Geordie lass and a Kitkat? A: You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat. Q: What has a Geordie lass and a computer got in common? A: You don't appreciate them until they go down on you. Q: What's a Geordie lass idea of safe sex? A: Keeping the handbrake on.
Iâm in trouble with my Geordie wife. We were in bed naked and she asked what I would like to do most with her body. Apparently âIdentify itâ wasnât the right answer.
Why men shouldn’t be Agony aunts. Dear Sunderland Bill I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn’t start. I walked back to my house and found my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter. They announced that the affair had been going on for two years. Can you help me…I’m desperate. Dear Geordie lass The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines. Hope this helps. Sunderland Bill.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and my geordie wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better. So I thought…Sod it….soldier on. ------------------------------
Just said to my geordie missus…”Hey fat gut..what do you want for Valentines Day” She said “Don’t get f*cking lippy” I said “Mascara it is then!”
I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife [geordie ] face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do…………………Then I remembered Wetherspoons serve breakfast until 11.30.
Man shagging 30 stone geordie woman. He says “Can we have the light switched off?” She said “Why? Do you find me repulsive?” He said “ No….it’s burning my arse.
Geordie got a letter in the post this morning. It landed on the floor, says on the envelope DO NO BEND. He’s still wondering how to pick it up!
Strange or what, no wums on this thread. question, " why is Newcastle the only place where men sit down for a piss"....?
