Sheer hilarity

http://www.readytogo.net/archives/002355.html

Who writes this embarassing ****? Amidst a host of drivel - including the conceding of a last-minute being 'irrelevant' and trying to break someone's legs being 'the perfect thing to do' - one truly hilarious part stands out: Cattermole, 'the footballing equivalent of Russell Crowe's Gladiator'.

And there was me thinking he was a talentless, thuggish tampon.

 

Propaganda to be ignored. One of us wrote a better piece which can be found on their board.

 

From all I’ve read and heard in the aftermath of this game, I can only conclude that in the near future, a Tyne Wear derby will be marked by the death of a fan. Undoubtedly this fan will be one of ours, perhaps a solitary teenager at a bus stop or a middle-aged family man looking for his car, but he’ll be a black and whiter who will fall under a flurry of boots and fists, or a single stab by a bladed up sewer rat. I don’t want to sound alarmist, but the fact is, the mackems hate Newcastle United with such fury they will kill one or more of us to demonstrate that fact. The victim who dies will join Bobby Robson and Gary Speed in the litany of sick songs that are spread on sunderland message boards in preparation for games against us.Having watched the full game again, all I could conclude is that sunderland, both players and supporters, are completely out of control and that this mass, snarling hysteria is fed and nurtured by the highest echelons of the club.

Examine the conduct of both sets of fans; on Sunday, Shola Ameobi’s 90th minute equaliser was met with joyous scenes in the ground. However, not one person encroached upon the field of play; compare this with the Mackem reactions to Gyan’s equaliser last season when Steve Harper was assaulted or in October 2008, when Kieran Richardson’s goal was greeted with a mass pitch invasion and Shay Given being assaulted. Admittedly Alan Pardew did go slightly over the top with his celebrations, but at least he had the grace to apologise; unlike O’Neill who didn’t have the grace to accept the traditional post match glass of wine, artlessly preferring to get straight on the coach back to his Wearside midden, no doubt embellishing his fictional narrative on the day.

Each season, Newcastle fans travel to Wearside, by Metro, train, bus, car or even furniture van, and cause not a scrap of bother. On Sunday, the Mackems followed up their destruction of a train carriage en route to their cup replay in Smogland by trashing a Metro. This wasn’t a regular Metro, but a special one that went non-stop Park Lane to Central to allow them to get to the game. En route to the game, the windows of The Forth were put in; presumably in the belief that it is still 1983 and the NME were supping inside, rather than because it is an effete gastro pub, with a similarly effete post 92 clientele, even if the prix fixe menu is of an extraordinarily good standard.

In the ground several seats were smashed, two stewards were assaulted (a female punched in the face and a male pushed down a flight of stairs) and the toilets were wrecked, as well as having excrement smeared around them, presumably as some kind of Dirty Protest tribute to Niall Quinn, the Drumaville Pavees and their current manager, of whom more later.

However, such cretinous behaviour is perhaps to be expected for several reasons. Firstly, and most obviously, mackems are a lower form of life and visiting civilisation gets them all excited. Secondly, but most importantly, their club glorifies boorishness and encourages bellicose posturing. The famed free taxis home paid for by Niall Quinn for the sizeable number of their fans who were drunkenly out of control in Bristol airport in 2007, planted the seed in their minds that anti social behaviour will not only be tolerated by the club hierarchy, but rewarded.

The only reason Newcastle did not hand out another severe thrashing to the unwashed is that in the first half, Pardew’s team allowed themselves to be dragged down to the mackems’ level and engaged in a hideous kicking contest. The tone was set by Cattermole’s premeditated attack on Tiote after 40 seconds; having reputedly told Tiote in the tunnel that he’d “do” him, the man who wears the captain’s armband for sunderland deliberately scythed down Tiote in an assault intended to injure the Ivorian. Cattermole ought to have walked then. I remember Gordon Armstrong doing the same thing on Paul Bracewell in April 1993’s game that was decided by Scott Sellars’s free kick. Back then, Keegan’s team laughed it off and got on with the business of winning; sadly this was not the outcome in this instance. Newcastle’s adoption of strongarm tactics saw 4 rapid bookings, even if Simpson was rightly furious following McClean’s vile lunge on him.

The predictable conclusion to this passage of ale house clogging by the Magpies was the nonsensical penalty conceded by Williamson for a tug on Turner, which was celebrated in a deliberately provocative way by Frazier Campbell, intended to incense Newcastle fans and no doubt the cause of an imminent FA charge for incitement. Following this goal, a brief period of phoney war almost saw the Mackems go 2-0 ahead, but Krul made an excellent save from Bendtner and with that the Mackems retreated to their own 18 yard line for the remainder of the game. Despite being deservedly behind, the previously mentioned efforts from Ba and Coloccini could have seen Newcastle ahead at the break.

In the second period, especially after Sessegnon’s forearm smash on Tiote, who was himself booked for the only foul committed by a Newcastle played after the resumption, Newcastle were a joy to watch. Hatem Ben Arfa was Man of the Match by a street and showed exactly what Newcastle fans love to see; football artistry, poetry with the feet. We are the fans who idolise not only our number 9s, but the glorious ball players who’ve graced the Gallowgate turf; Beardsley, Tony Green, Len White, Bobby Mitchell, Hughie Gallagher, Colin Veitch and Pat Heard to name but a few. In contrast on Wearside, brutish, cowardly hatchet men like Joe Bolton, Charlie Hurley, John Kay, Kevin Ball and now Lee Cattermole are lauded.

Off the top of my head I can recall Gary Bennett, Howard Gayle, Paul Hardyman, Titus Bramble, Phil Bardsley, Sessegnon and Cattermole being dismissed from the field of play in derby games; not one of those names belongs to a Newcastle player. The meaning of that is self-evident; sunderland cannot control their players. This season alone Bardsley was sent off for a stamp, Sessegnon for an elbow and Cattermole for an unprovoked foul-mouthed tirade against a referee who’d done his level best amidst the mayhem, even if he missed at least 3 other penalties we should have had.

Laughably Cattermole’s conduct was excused by O’Neill in a post match interview where, summoning up all the traditional Celtic paranoia from his stint in Glasgow, he felt there were “mitigating circumstances.” According to O’Neill, there had been a Newcastle United presence in the referee’s room at half time. John Carver at this point interjected and pointed out, in no uncertain terms, that O’Neill was a liar. Obviously as far as the unwashed goes, if a lie is put out in to the real world, it becomes a fact; perhaps being caught out was the reason why O’Neill flounced out of Tyneside, preferring instead to make a cowardly interview with local radio on the Tuesday, replete with lies and innuendo. If you want to see real class and the conduct of perfect gentlemen, seek out the ESPN post match interview with Shola and Demba Ba. Articulate, incisive, humble and intelligent; these men are a credit to our club and the polar opposite of the scowling, snarling, spitting vermin from down the road.

As a minimum, the FA need to charge sunderland with failing to control their players, while both Campbell and McClean, for his comments on Twitter, should be brought to book. However, this will not be enough; when a sunderland message board is full of death threats against Pardew, things really need to stop. Back in 1996, the ban on away fans at derby games allowed for the formation of Wear Fans United to protest against the decision; 16 years on I can see no possible hope of a similar organisation being formed to calm the situation down. However, it has to be said this is not necessary on one side of the divide.

At Newcastle United, we fans police ourselves; we love the club and we respect our history and traditions. The same cannot be said of our local rivals; unless sunderland fans come to their senses and gain a sense of proportion about what is after all only a game of football, people will die on derby day. Those on Wearside must accept that this is where their conduct has them headed; they need a reality check before it is too late.

 

I have to imagine even most Sunderland fans would have a hard time digesting this (the piece I posted).

 

I wouldn't bank on it!

 

Makes me embarassed to be Canadian

 

Russell Crowe

 

Sideshow badger,
im sorry but ive never read so much ****e for many a year.
Newcastle fans have a history like many clubs over the years of violence and bad behaviour.
Go buy one of the many hooligan books on sale these days and Newcastle fans or hooligans if you prefer that term will get many many more mentions than Sunderland fans/hooligans. Newcastle had one of the most active firms in England in the 80's and 90's. Look at Holland just recently in the European trips.
A member of Sunderland staff says someone tried to see the referee at half time, a Newcastle member of staff says they did not. You take it as fact that no one did as you support your own. No evidence provided either way.
You state Newcastle fans never cause any bother at Sunderland. Ive seen Newcastle fans attack Sunderland fans at away games. Ive alot of friends involved in it.
The hatred on each side is in equal measure so to paint Sunderland as worse than Newcastle off the field is frankly ridiculous.
As for your ridiculous look at sendings off in the derby games you fail to realise that over they years you have diferent squads of players and different managers.To say Sunderland cant control their players is flimsy at best.
It is just as one sided delusional crap as the Sunderland piece.

 

Pretty sure that the ref's come out and confirmed that no member of the Newcastle staff attempted to see him?

 

Why even read the Mackem boards?

Some of you seem to read them more than the toon board!

 

****ing hell that really is tragic. Such a small club mentality its unbelievable.

 

Please show me where it mentions trying to break someone's legs being 'the perfect thing to do'? I believe it was
launched himself into a tackle he had no chance of making after only 40 seconds it was the perfect thing to do.
Slightly different dont you think.



Read more: http://www.readytogo.net/archives/002355.html#ixzz1oVjliPJ0

 

I saw the thread title and KNEW exactly what this thread was going to be about.

Mate sent me the link last night.


Funniest thing I've read in ages.

 

Wouldn't make it any less tragic though Davey

 

Well that all depends on your view of the tackle. 'No chance of making' = 'every chance of hurting the opposing player'.

 

Lets see how the Mackems do without there Gladiator for four games.

 

What did McClean post on twitter?

I'm surprised nothing more will be done to both managers following Pardews celebrations and Arty Ziffs accusations.
Also Campbells celebration, genuinly surprised someone didn't jump out of the crowd and clock him one. Was a stupid think to do.

Neither side have come out of this match looking good and having things to answer for.

 

RTG/SMB is the biggest embaresment of Sunderland, it is full of the deluded, "I hate Newcastle more then I love sunderland" lot.

They even think they were better then us on Sunday.

 

Okay, let's be precise.

The poster said that engaging in a delibarate foul which had a very high risk of seriously injuring an opposing player was the perfect thing to do.

I don't now if you think that's any better. I don't.

 

Though Sideshows badgers suming up of NUFC supporters makes us out to sound perfectly clean and angelic (which infairness isn't totally true), the article does raise some good points about the mackems (again not all of them) behaviour and think it is possible that something needs to be done between both clubs before someone get's seriously injured or killed.

People need to take the rose tinted specs off and realise that there was a lot of unacceptable behaviour from both teams and benches.