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Off Topic NSFW. Advice about women...

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Heavy Metal Toon, Mar 6, 2011.

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  1. Wise James

    Wise James Member

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    best copy cat.
     
    #521
    Wise James, Mar 11, 2011
  2. TheLittleGeordie

    TheLittleGeordie Active Member

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    Is this thread still going
    I assumed everyone who went on it would have been arrested by now
     
    #522
    TheLittleGeordie, Mar 11, 2011
  3. Tiggyrimana

    Tiggyrimana Active Member

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    its inactivity must meen a few have been caught
     
    #523
    Tiggyrimana, Mar 12, 2011
  4. Wein14

    Wein14 Active Member

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    Did someone already put that <doh>
     
    #524
    Wein14, Mar 14, 2011
  5. rokkudan

    rokkudan Active Member

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    Tash

    be a good shoulder for her to cry on, that is certainly the way to a womans heart, then apply about 30lb's worth of pressure to the back of the neck and bob's your Uncle!
     
    #525
    rokkudan, Mar 14, 2011
  6. Arfa's Left Foot

    Arfa's Left Foot Active Member

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    This thread seems to have died a bit. Did Tash ever tell us how he got on?
     
    #526
    Arfa's Left Foot, Mar 14, 2011
  7. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    No but he did ask us the square route of nowt. He's dodging a bullet by not telling us I guess.
     
    #527
    Aldridge_Prior, Mar 14, 2011
  8. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    He used a step ladder!
     
    #528
    Agent Bruce, Mar 14, 2011
  9. Paco Montoya

    Paco Montoya Well-Known Member

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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I've got a gun
    Now get in the van

    I'll see you lot when I've done my time...
     
    #529
    Paco Montoya, Mar 14, 2011
  10. Hatem Is A Geordie

    Hatem Is A Geordie Active Member

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    Saw a group on facebook that INSTANTLY made me think of this thread... 'I had sex with my girlfriend last night. It was going pretty good, except the entire time she was screaming someone elses name... Anyone know who rape is?'
     
    #530
    Hatem Is A Geordie, Mar 14, 2011

  11. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    Funny, I was in a similar situation last night; I had sex with my girlfriend last night. It was going pretty good, except the entire time she was screaming someone elses name... Anyone know who Surprise Sex is?
     
    #531
    u408379965, Mar 14, 2011
  12. beardface

    beardface Active Member

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    I find that it's always best to use somethng to muffle their mouth.
     
    #532
    beardface, Mar 14, 2011
  13. Arfa's Left Foot

    Arfa's Left Foot Active Member

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    This tbh.
     
    #533
    Arfa's Left Foot, Mar 15, 2011
  14. RyanNUFC

    RyanNUFC Member

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    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    **** you whore.
     
    #534
    RyanNUFC, Mar 16, 2011
  15. Heavy Metal Toon

    Heavy Metal Toon Guest

    Roses are Red
    Violets are Blue
    I shag you hard,
    and pretend i love you.
     
    #535
    Heavy Metal Toon, Mar 16, 2011
  16. KingoStarr

    KingoStarr Active Member

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    Thats the one you went with, Good Man

    Although seriously tash does she understand that you're Toon before Poon
     
    #536
    KingoStarr, Mar 16, 2011
  17. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    Rep
     
    #537
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Mar 16, 2011
  18. KingoStarr

    KingoStarr Active Member

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    :) I'll try and rep back

    I cant :(
     
    #538
    KingoStarr, Mar 16, 2011
  19. ToonSi

    ToonSi Active Member

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    <laugh> Hahahaha Toon before Poon!
    Have some rep your way!
     
    #539
    ToonSi, Mar 16, 2011
  20. StoneyNUFC

    StoneyNUFC Member

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    I'm probs going to get slaughtered for this, and I know there is no formula. I seem to do quite well though, so not too fussed really:

    Just tell her how you feel man.

    You need to build your confidence up though if you are asking us for advice. (not a slight)

    Try to let her talk about herself, if she comes out with negatives then disagree and back your point, eye contact essential here. And mean it!

    Don't be affraid to sound cheesy. The majority of the time this will be overlooked if your sincere enough. Req confidence.

    Ask about her day. Focus and care when she tells you about it. Don't stare at her tits.

    If you cut her off appologise and let her continue, completely forgetting what you were going to say in favour of discussing what she said. Don't agree with everything just just to please her, it's always obvious. "Really? Thinking - I never really looked at it that way"

    Don't over compliment all the time, but remeber to do it when apt.

    Manners. Always. Hold the door open, ladies first. No Belching, don't fart. Take the jacket, pull the chair out etc.

    Buy her dinner. No, not the chippy, then open up, tell her you really enjoy the time you've spent together and see how she responds.

    DO NOT SAY "will you be my gf" - That sucks

    She will see for sure where you are going by this stage. Try give her a kiss, not over the table but at some stage. Maybe when you drop her off, depends what she is like really.

    And ffs, just don't mention football. Whatever you do! :D

    Hope this helps, but it doesn't really work like that. It's all confidence and being a decent person. Not too soft, but not showing off or acting the man. Never let a knock back put you off, there are thousands of em out there. If she truly is a nice girl it really is all about manners and sensativity.

    If she's a bit rough round the edges or maybe a party animal then disregard most of this. Mind you some like the change cause they never meet a gentleman.

    Nail, head, BE A GENTLEMAN. If you aren't then learn
     
    #540
    StoneyNUFC, Mar 16, 2011
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