One of the only reasons I watched Dr Who, and no I'm not talking Dalek I mean Katy. please log in to view this image
Shoppers! Don't pay for environmentally unfriendly plastic bags at the supermarket counter, wear a large T-shirt and use that instead by lifting up the bottom part and filling it with your groceries.
**** I knew I'd said something wrong, I was wearing a mag shirt though so that's not too bad. How did the gaps in my teeth look? Just wish the interview hadn't been interrupted by my whippet chewing on the pie I gave it for safekeeping.
Cigarette companies: don't put pictures of diseased lugs on your cigarette packets, put a picture of a naked lady with large bosoms instead to improve sales
Get that new carpet feeling all the way through the house by sticking carpet squares to the bottom of your slippers!
Buy a Marigold glove... Prick one of the fingers... Fill said gloves with milk.. Next time you have a tea or coffee, give glove a squeeze.... Nowt like fresh milk.
Shoppers who put there goods in their t-shirts: to get you shirt back into normal shape, soak it in freezing water then tumble dry it for a good 2 hours, the immediate temperature changes will cause the fibres to shrink