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Press reporting on Tenerife booze up

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Jan 29, 2012.

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  1. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Paparazz-pee scandal

    Journalist urinates in toilet!! Thought to have also defecated and forgot to flush. Neighbours claim he'd always been the silent type.
     
    #21
    overseasTOON, Jan 29, 2012
  2. biggeordiedave

    biggeordiedave Active Member

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    <laugh>

    I'm surprised one of the players didn't say "****" or "crap". DRUNKEN NEWCASTLE PLAYER IN VILE FOUR LETTER TIRADE.
     
    #22
    biggeordiedave, Jan 29, 2012
  3. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    BREAKING NEWS

    Jimileysbaldhead drove up to Newcastle yesterday for his sister in laws wedding and had 1 pint followed by a sparkling water. He then left the party at 9.00pm with the intention to break the world land speed record in order to get back to his local in Melton Mowbray with the intention of getting a lock in and subsequently snottered..." he had that look in his eye " said his wife when reluctantly saying goodbye to wedding guests.

    Unfortunately the cunning plan was thwarted by the bastards closing the A1 just North of Catterick for roadworks and sending him on a 1 hour detour round every f*cking village in Yorkshie resulting in him not getting back in time.

    He now fully regrets his behaviour and promises to let his wife drive back from future functions when she kindly offers as she "doesn't drink so you might as well enjoy yourself "

    He's booked himself into a local tattooist to get TWAT on his forehead.
     
    #23
    jimileysbaldhead, Jan 29, 2012
  4. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    He's booked himself into a local tattooist to get TWAT on his forehead.

    How much is that going to put you back?
     
    #24
    Agent Bruce, Jan 29, 2012
  5. Speedo

    Speedo Active Member

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    My thoughts exactly.
     
    #25
    Speedo, Jan 29, 2012
  6. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    Erm doesnt one of the lads on heres sister go out with Saylor
     
    #26
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Jan 29, 2012

  7. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Disgraceful. So they all went away and got hammered. Sack them all.
     
    #27
    Warmir Pouchov, Jan 29, 2012
  8. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter Forum Moderator

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    Who?
     
    #28
    Albert's Chip Shop, Jan 29, 2012
  9. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    The sacks too good for them.

    Burn them, burn them good!
     
    #29
    Agent Bruce, Jan 29, 2012
  10. Obertan's Rancid Toe

    Obertan's Rancid Toe Well-Known Member

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    lol wut
     
    #30
    Obertan's Rancid Toe, Jan 29, 2012
  11. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    When Saylor got injured did he say his sister was going to go out with him then got a text saying hes out for the season
     
    #31
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Jan 29, 2012
  12. Obertan's Rancid Toe

    Obertan's Rancid Toe Well-Known Member

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    Dunno mate that one must have slipped past me
     
    #32
    Obertan's Rancid Toe, Jan 29, 2012
  13. Beardsley's Rancid Sack

    Beardsley's Rancid Sack Well-Known Member

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    Pardew four-way by the looks of things...
     
    #33
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack, Jan 29, 2012
  14. Sammy's Teckers

    Sammy's Teckers Member

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    Yup I remember this
     
    #34
    Sammy's Teckers, Jan 29, 2012
  15. Shola's Concrete Boots

    Shola's Concrete Boots Active Member

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    Players enjoy themselves away from work Scandal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh no
     
    #35
    Shola's Concrete Boots, Jan 29, 2012
  16. Shola's Best Hat

    Shola's Best Hat Member

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    Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children
     
    #36
    Shola's Best Hat, Jan 29, 2012
  17. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    It's all too much for my virgin eyes.
     
    #37
    Agent Bruce, Jan 29, 2012
  18. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Remember the story but don't remember who's sister it was.
     
    #38
    Agent Bruce, Jan 29, 2012
  19. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    TJR_CaptainColo'sNUFC&#8206;?
     
    #39
    Agent Bruce, Jan 29, 2012
  20. goldie

    goldie Well-Known Member

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    I knew this trip would have a bad effect on our teams performance, however it still doesn't change ther fact we would never have won the competition anyway. We can focus on the league now. Hopefully Sunderland will do well and struggle in the league.
     
    #40
    goldie, Jan 29, 2012
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