Funniest football moments: Personal Experiences

brilliant

 

You just can't beat 'The Budgie Smugglers' for entertainment!!

 

Not really football related, but when I was a teen I used to skateboard. Remember going up the half pipe doing a trick (rock to fakie) and leaving one leg behind when I dropped back in. OUCH! landed on my balls as the other leg was swept away on the board.
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I can't do the splits at the best of times, but this was on a curve! \8/ - managed to keep my beer and cig without any spils though! Had people trying to drag me off the ramp after a time.

 

I knew there would be some brilliant testicle stories!

 

Not me and not football, but my old flatmate got a stud through the sack playing rugby as a kid. Painful apparently.

 

We were playing cricket in an Old Scholars vs Staff at a school reunion.

I was the wicket keeper and the person batting was the groundskeeper. Ball is bowled towards him and he dispatches it with a massive swing. The ball flies for a six and smashes into my headmasters car bonnet, denting it.

I bet him a pint he couldn't do it again. He did and smashed the passenger window.

 

Playing football with all of my mates 7-a-side and I have a pretty powerful shot at the best of times but I caught a volley an absolute peach and it just flew straight into the keepers face from about 15 yards, it knocked him out clean he was down for about 5 minutes, the great friends we are we spent that 5 minutes in stitches at how funny it was! Then when he got up I was like how are you? He couldn't speak as he'd bitten his tongue so hard that it'd swollen up massively

 

I remember the old story about Calvin Plamer(Sunderland)who said to the ref " What would you do if I called you a c**t?"

The ref replied " I'd send you off "

Calvin Palmer then said " What would you do If I thought you were a c**t?"

The ref said " Well I wouldn't know therefore I couldn't do anything about it "

Calvin Palmer replies " Right, I think you're a c**t "....

 

The other week we were playing in the local six-a-side league on astro turf where two games play next to each other at the same time. The ball from the other game was kicked on to our pitch so one of our players went to boot the ball back to the other game. At the same time the winger from the team we were playing was running at one of our defenders and got in the way of the ball that was being kicked back to the other game. It hit his standing leg whilst he was running at full pace and he went absolutely flying. Looked up at the referee who just waved play on as we hit them on the break and almost scored. It was the best 'tackle' I had ever seen. He claimed he meant to hit him...I have my doubts.

 

I was playing headers and volleys with some mates in this little handball net thing that was poorly tied to the floor ,well i hit a volley,hit the cross bar and the goal fell down on my mate in goal and he got stuck in the net,Us being the good friends that we are cudnt stop laughing and left him there while laughing

 

Ah, and one of my friends at the time dropped off a roof and credit-card'd!! Brutal!

Illustration, not the actual instance:

Okay, can't find one. But imagine jumping off a building with a skateboard vertically placed between your legs.

 

That sounds like a story he'll never be able to tell his children

 

class

 

tell me about it! He switched to blades after that lol

Another good one, I was chatting to my mate about clearing a stair set. We were going through the motions and discussing the landing when Justin comes out with "I'm not going down that I'll cripple..." caught his foot on the top slab and off he went Not badly hurt, but was preeetty damn steep!

 

Getting pissed with the ref before a Sunday league game. I'm crap... But after 4 whiskers I was Beckham.... Got beat 7-1 though..

 

This comment slipped in there made laugh

 

reminds me of this:

[video=youtube;CiLQ0cr-7C8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=CiLQ0cr-7C8[/video]

 

Wasn't remotely funny at the time, but playing sunday league against a scruffy as **** team from Boro. Game and ref were a joke - we were getting kicked all over and the ref did nothing, so at half time our manager told us to fight fire with fire and first oportunity one of us got to crunch one of their lads, take it...

Ball was kicked off and played back to our left back...Our left back was ****e, he was the club secretary's Grandson and got a game regardless of ability...Anyway, he took a touch and was immediately closed down and tackled by one of their lads, Lee (the leftback) clearly panicked and remembering our manager's advice, attempted to boot the lad as hard as possible from behind - unfortunately their forward was a little too fleet of foot and skipped away just in time - his foot, finding nothing to make contact with, swung up so high he pulled him hammie and had to come off, head down and close to tears...

Time has been a good healer!

 

Mine was actually in SJP in the Robson era, been reminded of it alot recently as it involves the late Gary Speed.

I used to sit behind the goal ~8 rows up in the leazes end with my dad in the wheelchair row. We had a corner, it got whipped in to Speed's feet inside the 6 six yard area. Usually he would have buried it, but somehow he put it over the bar. Everyone in teh crowd went 'oooof' and then there was a moment of stunned, silent disbelief.

At this point my dad says, through the silence; "Even I could have scored that".
Speed hears this looks up, sees my dad's wheelchair and laughs to himself before putting his head in his hands. Cue everyone around laughing. Good times.

 

That's actually quite touching, aside from funny and embarressing! lol