Christmas Radio on as I made mince pies, Christmas cake and decorated the tree, it became clear that there are levels of Christmas songs and music. This is my truth. Gold Medal - Sleigh Ride by The Ronnettes Silver Medal - 2000 Miles by The Pretenders Bronze Medal - Driving Home For Christmas by Chris Rea Top Tier In Dulce de Leche - Mike Oldfield The Christmas Song - Nat We Was Kings Cole Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day - Jizzhard Silver Bells - Various It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas - Perry Como Wonderful Christmastime - Macca Winter Wonderland - Darlene Love Santa Claus is Back in Town - Elvis Middle Tier Merry Christmas Everyone - Shakin Stevens Stop The Cavalry - Jona Lewie It'll Be Lonely This Christmas - Mud It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year - Andy Williams Let It Snow - Dean Martin When A Child Is Born - Johnny Mathis Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - Various I Believe In Father Christmas - Greg Lake Bottom Tier Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt Don't Let The Bells End - The Darkness Have A Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives One More Sleep - Leona Lewis Baby It's Cold Outside - Various Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer - Various Utter Dogshit That Gets Turned Off Fairytale of New York - The Pogues and that ginger bird who can't sing The Carpenters, anything by The Carpenters please log in to view this image
Mariah Carey Macca - Pipes of Piss, Frog Chorus fat bird singing about sausage rolls White Christmas various Little bummer boy
Band Aid - Top Tier Cliff - Bottom Tier (I don't like religion spoiling my Christmas songs, oh the irony!) Gary Glitter - not heard him on the radio since he was wrongfully imprisoned for consensual sex with a Cambodian that he bought fair and square You Too? I wasn't aware they did a festive tune apart from Pride In The Name of Love Wham - Top Tier Mariah - Top Tier Boney M - Bottom Tier, ruined with all that Oh My Lord nonsense at the end.
Mistletoe & Wine is the greatest by far, followed by John & Yoko, Wham!, Slade, Wizzard and David Essex. An honourable mention must go to Johnny Mathis for his rendition of O Holy Night. Simply divine. See ya.
Mrs Grove's personal favourite, I'd have to go Top Tier for that one. Christmas Wrapping - Bottom Tier. It really is quite a dull repetitive dirge, clumsy and not sung at all well. Winter's Tale - Bottom Tier for the reason of poor scanning and the nauseating line "with you for the length of your time on earth"
Only if you're into knocked-off furry white onesies... ...otherwise, Greg Lake's 'I believe in Father Christmas'...
