Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

please log in to view this image

 

Game on.

 

please log in to view this image

 

I said to a mate, "I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings last month and she hasn't talked to me since."

"Why not?"

"That was part of the deal."

 

Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Aye"
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'
Welshman: "Dog don't talk.”
Englishman: “Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doing all right."
Welshman: (look of shock)
Englishman: “Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: “How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Very good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse don't talk.”
Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheep's a f*k**g liar!!”

 

please log in to view this image

 

One from last year (and probably the year before, too)

please log in to view this image

 

please log in to view this image

 

As Patrick lay on a hospital bed, he asked the nurse to send in his 3 sons, and explained that he wanted to leave them something before he died.
“To my oldest son, Michael, I leave 12 properties in Shamrock Avenue, and 8 in Bishops Court.”
“To my middle son, Shane, I leave 15 houses in Chapel St, and 5 in Greenvale Close.”
“To my youngest son, I leave 10 Shops on the left side of the High Street, and 10 more on the right-hand side.”
He took one more breath and passed away.
The nurse, comforting the sons, said
“Your father must have been such a caring wealthy man, to leave you all so much”
Michael replied “No . . . . he was a window cleaner.“

 

please log in to view this image

 

This is BAD

please log in to view this image

 

I just met a dyslexic Yorkshireman . . . . who was wearing a cat flap !

 

Have you heard about the new Origami Porn Channel ?

It’s Paper View Only.