Bunch of ****s en-um Irish, come on here expecting to be entertained and all I read is a bunch of ****s whingin at each other. Where is Acworth when you need him ay.
Both my next door neighbours have been arrested as part of the European-wide raids against online *****philes. **** knows where I'm going to get my free wi-fi now. ------------------------------------------------------------ Three kids were up late in their tree-house chatting. The first kid says, "Last night, Daddy made me touch his snake!" The second kid says, "That's nothing, last night, Daddy made me kiss his snake!" The last kid sighs and says, "I wish my dad was a reptile enthusiast. He just ****s me in the arse." <huth>
Two Irish blokes are traveling across Australia when they get lost in the bush. Paddy says to Mick "If we walk in a straight line, we're bound to find help sooner or later" After a few days, they come across a big lake with a small island in the middle. On this island there's a huge crocodile with a blokes head sticking out of his mouth. "Jesus, Mick, look at that poor ****" Says Paddy Mick replies "He can't be that bloody poor Paddy, he's got a Lacoste sleeping bag"
Women are such spoilsports.I was sitting on the edge of the bed last night,pulling my boxers off,and she SCREAMED!LEAVE THOSE DOGS ALONE.
An Englishman and an Irishman and a Frenchman are talking about sex in a pub one night, English bloke says "when I've finished having sex with the wife, i lick her toes and she rises an inch off the bed!" Frog says "That's nothing, after I've had sex with my wife I tickle her neck and she floats many inches above the bed!" Paddy proudly states "I can top that, when I've finished having sex with my wife, I wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the ****ing roof!
Three Chinese immigrants are looking for work, and they stumble upon an advertisement asking for a number of farm hands. Before long, all three arrive at the farm, and the farmer tells them: "See how you go moving those bales of hay over there!", and with that, the three men proceed to do it. Two of them manage to move the hay easily, but the third can barely budge it. So the farmer makes his decision: "You two are hired, but I'm sorry: I can't hire you!" The third immigrant is saddened, and asks "Why not?" And the farmer replies: "Because you are The Weakest Chink. Goodbye!"
What's the difference between the Beaconsfield Mine Manager and a priest? One got his miners stuck in a shaft, while the other gets his shaft stuck in minors. How do you know a when a Ranger's supporter's been in your house? Your bin's empty and your dog's pregnant. Q:What's a Celtic supporter's idea of foreplay? A:Are you awake sis?
I know its not Friday but here's one. I would post this on the Argyle site but with two femail mods in charge I'm not that brave! I thought it might be better on here. A sexually active but over-35 woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vag***l lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately called in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!' The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. 'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.' 'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had the same procedure done some time ago.' 'And what about the third rose?' she asked. "That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
Santa visits a childrens ward & sees a black lad with just a head. So he says to him " what would you like for Christmas " The boy replies " well i've allways wanted to be a body builder, but i have no body " Santa delves in to his sack, then pulls out a peice of string & says " how do you fancy being a conker "
