My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out... I can't read a f*cking word now!
It's so hard to find the right person these days. All I want is a woman who likes long walks on the beach... It will give her something to do whilst I watch football!
Played frisbee in the park with my dog yesterday... Not much good though. I think I'm going to need a flatter dog!
My wife's not getting much sleep at the moment, she's up every hour breastfeeding. I told her I should grow out of it soon but she's still not happy.
My wife's come back home after her breast reduction operation. And I must say, she looks much better with just the two.
Last night my wife found me in the pub, threw a pint over my head, and called me a 'f*cking tw*t. Every year she has to go and ruin our wedding anniversary.
My best friend at school was Andy Zoff. He used to run everywhere ! please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
